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Bizarre crimes chosen from Charlotte police files (August 21) 

Urine trouble

Sound the alarm: Listening to a fire alarm is annoying, but does it warrant a call to the police? One tenant of an apartment complex in south Charlotte apparently thought so. The man — we won't call him a victim because he was hardly victimized — called police to report that an unknown suspect pulled the building's fire alarm and fled before police arrived. The perpetrator was probably late for fifth period history.

Limb for limb: Mother nature unleashed her fury on a red 2010 Land Rover parked on Commonwealth Avenue. The police report states a tree limb broke and fell across two lanes, landing on the vehicle. Still, only $2,000 in damages was reported.

Pump and dump: Someone was apparently really unhappy with gas prices and decided to take his or her anger out on a poor, unsuspecting pump at a station on Sugar Creek Road. An unknown suspect allegedly threw a pump at the concrete ground, causing $100 in damage. The suspect fled the scene before police arrived.

Urine Trouble: A bottle of Glenlivet scotch matured 18 years to meet a most unfortunate demise. A bottle worth $93.70 was stolen from a Holiday Inn in Uptown. It's safe to assume the suspect drank all or some of its contents — he or she, the report doesn't specify, proceeded to urinate on an undisclosed piece of the hotel's property. In an unrelated (or related?) incident, an unknown suspect broke into someone's vehicle and peed in it.

Footloose: The left shoe of a pair of Air Jordans is incredibly lonely after a suspect walked into a Foot Locker and stole its companion.

I'm so fancy: Someone decided stealing shrimp from a store wasn't enough — when they ate it, they were going to eat in style. A police report states an unknown suspect walked into a Walmart and stole four packs of shrimp worth $50 and $11.97 worth of household goods categorized in the report as "clothes/fur."

Fumble: You know it's officially football season when the Panthers start to show up in police reports — Panthers season tickets, that is. A victim reported an unknown suspect entered his home and stole season tickets and parking passes valued at $8,700.

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