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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (March 7) 

Weee're dealin': Two people pulled over for routine traffic stops in Charlotte last week are now kicking themselves for not obeying the rules of the road. One man was pulled for a window tint violation and was found to be carrying three separate bags of cocaine, three separate bags of marijuana and eight grams of crack, all together valued at $1,160. Another man was pulled for a traffic violation and found to be transporting nearly 67 grams of cocaine, valued at $4,000. He also had $6,689 in cash. Both men were carrying advanced digital scales, in case the drug dealer occupation wasn't obvious enough.

We Don't Like Mondays: Last week, police responded to a call at Convergys, a company that touts itself online as "A Leader in Relationship Management." A 22-year-old woman who works there told officers that one of her co-workers flipped out while on break. The woman reported that the man began throwing magazines and squirting duck sauce around the break room. The woman threw the stuff back at him and that's when he pushed her forehead and yelled, "I am going to pull your weave out." The officer filing the report felt it important to state that the two had never been in a relationship.

Package, M'am: A very startled woman called police to her home near Brookshire Boulevard last week after getting an unwanted delivery. She told officers that she heard a knock on the door and found a man she had never seen standing on her porch. When she opened the door, the man pulled down his pants and exposed his penis before running away down the street. We assume he was not wearing a UPS uniform.

Heads up!: Of the usual domestic violence brouhahas in the city last week, a few stood out like sore thumbs (or, in these cases, heads). One 27-year-old man was hit over the head with a porcelain vase, while another 26-year-old man told police his woman threw a pepper shaker across the room, hitting him in the face. A 40-year-old man told officers he had been fighting with his wife when she threw a lit candle at him. He showed the officers the dried wax on his shirt and neck. Ouch! That always hurts.

Police Talk: An officer filed a report after finding 12 grams of pot on a man who was involved in an accident. The officer stated in the report that he responded to the scene of an accident on East 7th Street and searched a driver of one of the vehicles after noticing that it "smelled of green marijuana." Apparently, that's a very different scent than pink marijuana.

Bad First Date: Five victims were robbed in a home by two unknown suspects last week after being set up on the Internet. The victims told officers they met the two suspects on a dating site and gave them their address. The two arrived at the home, pulled out guns, and robbed the victims of all they could find, including debit cards, cell phones and the keys to one of the victim's car. The moral: blind dates = not good.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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