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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (March 7) 

"Yeah, she eats puppies and dogs and will kill a dog easy."

Dust to Dust: A 45-year-old woman called police after someone kicked her apartment door in and ransacked her place while she was down the street, waiting for the school bus with her daughter. The thief acted fast, getting away with a flat-screen television, a jewelry box, and an urn containing the ashes of one of the victim's family members. Fun fact: The report valued the ashes at one dollar.

Tire Tantrum: A woman was arrested on Brookshire Boulevard last week when she shot a .38 caliber pistol at her own tire after becoming aggravated in traffic.

Gone LoKo: An incident last week provides further proof that the alcoholic energy drink Four Loko should be banned. Police were called to a gas station in southwest Charlotte after a suspect was seen stealing a can of the stuff. When officers arrived, the man was highly intoxicated and shouting profanities. When police tried to arrest him, he pulled down his pants, exposing himself. When he was told not to return to the gas station, he ran toward the clerk and spit on him.

Baby Go Night-Night: A student at Northridge Middle School decided he needed a little something to take the edge off one day last week. The kid was caught at school sipping a mixed beverage that included Traveler's Club gin, Margaritaville tequila, mango liqueur and Fat Tuesday drink mixer out of plastic baby bottles. With that combination, we're surprised he made it past the morning bell.

Dippin' Sticks: Police responded to a domestic disturbance in southeast Charlotte and found a victim who will probably never try to make fondue again. The 50-year-old woman said she was trying to make dip with her mother but didn't know how to heat the oil. Her mother became so enraged at this lack of know-how that she grabbed her daughter by the hair and stabbed her in the hand with a fondue fork. The daughter went to the magistrate to fill out papers to commit her mother to an institution but, surprisingly, none were issued, and no arrests were made.

Threat of the Week: A 19-year-old woman filed a police report after one of her neighbors made "inappropriate comments" toward her. The victim said she was walking her corgi down the street when she saw another woman walking a bigger dog. When she complimented the woman's dog, she said, "Yeah, she eats puppies and dogs and will kill a dog easy," while staring at the victim's small pup. Talk about the girl who cried "woof."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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