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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Oct. 11) 

The power of Gluteboost, a powerful grip, more

Hold Me: A police officer brought more charges against a disruptive drunk man he was arresting last week after the officer said that the man assaulted him. The officer wrote that he was removing keys from the suspect's belt loop when the man held his hand and squeezed it. Must have been some grip.

Reckless Abandonment: A woman needed police assistance last week to remove some items that a former roommate left behind when she moved out. Among the woman's abandoned belongings were a weed pipe, five syringes, a green bottle filled with white powder, six baggies containing white powder, five vials of an unknown clear liquid and a large bottle filled with an unknown yellow liquid.

Asspresso: Police responded to Independence High School last week after a teacher realized that there was "some sort of substance" in her coffee. After some investigating, it was discovered that one of the students had put GluteBoost, a "natural buttocks enhancer," into her drink.

Pussy Riots: A kid called police after punking out in a mosh pit at Tremont Music Hall last week. The kid filed a report claiming that someone in the pit punched him in the face, though he couldn't identify the suspect. Another report was filed at the same concert over a fight in which someone lifted a 27-year-old man, slammed him on the ground and punched him repeatedly. In the report, the victim said "he didn't give the listed suspect permission to touch or assault him."

Family Feud: Police responded to a disturbance in southeast Charlotte last week after a woman couldn't just let things lie. The woman told police that a neighbor came over to her apartment and pointed a gun at her. The neighbor left, but the victim couldn't let him walk away that easily. She went to the neighbor's house to continue the argument, which turned into a physical brawl between families.

Dye Job: Police responded to a local Food Lion after a man got caught shoplifting. The man tried to leave the store with three packs of steaks, 20 chicken wings and packets of duck sauce and sweet and sour sauce. He also grabbed a box of Just For Men hair dye — because who wants to kiss the cook with grays in his beard?

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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