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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Oct. 18 edition) 

A golden drive-by, the mighty sword, more

Golden Drive-By: A drive-by assault took place in west Charlotte last week, but not the kind you'd expect. A 36-year-old woman told police she was pumping gas at a Shell station when a white Ford van pulled up and threw urine at her before speeding away.

Pen Mightier Than Sword: A 23-year-old man became a walking inkwell in northwest Charlotte last week. Police responded to an assault call and found the victim, who had been stabbed in the arm with a pen following an argument with the suspect. The suspect then punched him in the mouth and threatened to cut his throat before leaving the scene.

Timely Tip: A man lost a little more money than he planned during a drunken trip to Uptown Cabaret last week. He told officers that his $30,000 Presidential Rolex was stolen from his wrist during a night in the strip club. He doesn't know how it happened, however, because he was "distracted and intoxicated" while he was inside. Perhaps he just gave his favorite stripper an awesome tip and regretted it the next day.

Creative Writing: Police responded to the Fox & Hound bar after a man walked out on his $155 meal tab. The common crime might have inspired one of the officers to get a little creative with his report. In describing what was stolen, the officer wrote, "A birthday dinner which was removed from the victim's business inside of the listed suspect's stomach."

Not Amused: The owners of local music venue The Evening Muse filed a report after a patron lost control at the bar and wasted precious, precious beverages. The hothead was kicked out earlier in the night for starting a fight. After the bar closed, a witness saw the suspect walking around the area throwing trash cans, punching windows and hanging on the power meter, which cut the venue's electricity. When management showed up the next day, they had to throw away $1,400 worth of beer.

Teacher's Pet: A girl was arrested for trespassing after she was found at East Mecklenburg High School, despite not being enrolled there. As it turns out, she had been suspended from another school and was aware that she wasn't allowed on any campuses. Some people just can't stay away — even when they're skipping.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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