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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

Gotcha: An employee of a local beauty supply shop called police after he realized that someone had passed some counterfeit money at his store. After purchasing $4 worth of makeup, the suspect received her change of $36 and left the store. Here's a tip: If someone is using two $20 bills to pay for four dollars worth of merchandise, something is fishy.

Be Smart: A 19-year-old female reported to police that someone had stolen her cell phone while she was at BAR Charlotte last weekend. She told officers that she had placed the phone in a safe, private area of the bar and when she returned an hour later, it was gone. Another helpful Blotter tip: There is no safe, private cell phone day care in any Charlotte bar.

Why Wait?: A suspect was caught concealing merchandise at a local Food Lion and attempting to walk out of the store with it. When confronted, it was found that the suspect attempted to steal four salmon filets, one sirloin filet, one catfish filet and a Snickers bar.

Burned: A 37-year-old woman called police after she was assaulted by a known suspect following an argument. She told police that the suspect grabbed an iron and placed it against her leg, burning her. Hey, whatever it takes to get those wrinkles out. Good idea starting with the leg.

Don't Blink: A 28-year-old woman filed a police report after her car was damaged by a known suspect following an argument. She advised that the suspect used bodily force to break her turn signal indicator and then attempted to rip out certain parts of her car's interior. That'll teach her to use her blinker. Or at least it will teach the people driving behind her.

Reinventing Revenge: A 58-year-old man called police after his son stole his belongings, apparently still angry over a past disagreement. The man told police his son removed the front passenger tire from his vehicle and took it away with him. I guess that does the trick, but most people in these reports just put a knife through the damned things. Way to show creativity, though.

Blind Fury: An employee at a local Sears optical center told police that an unknown suspect had entered the store, pulled several eyeglass frames and related products from the shelves and threw them on the floor. The suspect then left the store.

Nap Time: A teacher at a local school was alarmed to get to work in the morning and find that the door to her assigned mobile unit classroom had been pried open. When she opened the door, she found a man sleeping on the floor of the classroom, with a crowbar laying on the floor next to him. The guy is tired. Just let him sleep, and let the kids come to school; I'm sure they won't even notice him.

Yeah, Sure: Police went to a house to serve two domestic warrants on a man they knew to be living there. While they were taking the man into custody, they asked for consent to search his room. After giving consent, they found cocaine, crack, marijuana, ecstasy and $5,163 in cash in his room. Is this guy brain dead or does he just not understand what the word consent means?

Scholarship Fund: An employee at a local dollar store called police after two unknown females got away with some merchandise. He told police that the girls left the store with $50 worth of school supplies, then hopped into their car and drove away. I don't know what would make me prouder if I was their father – the fact that they want to be prepared for class, or the fact that they can carry about 25 items at a time under pressure.

Bright Idea: Police were called to a local residence after two men were said to be in a violent fight. A witness told police that the decided victim was punched and kicked repeatedly. The suspect then hit the victim over the head with a lamp. Think about that next time someone tells you they're going to knock someone's lights out.

Tool Academy: A man called police after realizing that his car had been broken into. The suspect apparently broke the right passenger-side window and grabbed two tool bags from the seat. The tool bags were found next to the office door where the man worked, and in the parking lot the car was parked. It's great to see that some people are just so motivated to lend a helping hand.

Threat of the Week: In a sad Blotter twist, the only people threatened this week apparently did not want to tell police about it. What fun is that?

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Meckleburg Police Department.

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