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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

No, I Quit!: An employee of a local Pizza Hut called police after realizing that one of her employees had been stealing from customers. She told officers that over the course of a few days, the suspect stole $88.50 from customers. How does this even happen? You give 177 people 50 cents less change than they deserve? After being fired, the suspect threatened to hurt the woman and ran out of the store. Coming to get your last paycheck is going to be awkward.

Food Fight: Police were called to Morgan School after a fight erupted in the cafeteria. Witnesses told officers that a student slapped the victim, a 16-year-old boy, in the face. The fight that ensued convinced school officials to evacuate the cafeteria. When officers arrived, the suspect was non-compliant and pulled away from them. Once he was in handcuffs, he told the officer he would "take care of him" once he got out of the cuffs, also stating that it was "not a threat, that's a promise." The report says, however, that the officer considered his statement a threat; he must not have been listening.

Just a Suggestion: A 26-year-old woman called police after being harassed by an unknown suspect. She said that she has received eight calls from this person since the time she told her to stop calling. The suspect has stated things such as, "You are a piece of shit. Why don't you just slit your wrists?" It was probably just a telemarketer selling a set of Rachel Ray kitchen knives. Those people are crazy.

I'll Cut You: Police were called to Independence High School after a 15-year-old girl was assaulted by another student during a fight. When school officials searched the suspect after the fight was broken up, they found that she was carrying a butcher knife in her purse that just seemed to have been brought straight from a kitchen. Those telemarketers ... they got to her.

Burn One: Police arrested a man after they witnessed him setting fire to something while they cruised their beat. After questioning him, they found that the man had decided to take off his shirt and burn it in the front yard of his home. It takes some pretty serious drugs to convince someone that the only logical thing for them to do is to take off their clothes and burn them. Got any more?

He Got Game: A 30-year-old teacher at Waddell High School called police after being sexually harassed twice during the day by the same student. She told officers that as she prepared to start class the student approached her from behind and touched her inappropriately, making comments that she found offensive. After telling him never to do that again, she took the class to the computer lab for an assignment. On the way to the lab the student once again touched her inappropriately from behind. Ahhhh, the beginning of a new school year – The Blotter's best friend.

Car Wrecker: A 22-year-old woman called police after she decided that the person she gave her car to will probably not return it. In the three days since the victim let the suspect have the keys to her Ford Windstar, the suspect has called her 300 times. The suspect has made statements such as, "I've trashed the car. I've put sugar in the tank. I have damaged it so much you might as well just get a new one. I've trashed it. I got somebody to wreck it." During one especially fun call, the suspect stated, "I'll make sure that they don't find you or your car." Yeah, I think I agree with your doubts about the car's safety, as well your decision to get a restraining order.

Generational Gap: A 49-year-old woman called police after being assaulted by her daughter. She said that she was in an argument with her daughter about her daughter's children when her daughter struck her twice in the mouth with a closed fist. All we need now is the victim's 70-year-old parents to come in and start beating up everybody.

The Whole Nine: A 38-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a known suspect at her house. The victim stated that the suspect told her, "If you come back here today, I will beat you to a pulp, stomp you and then kill you." I'm just wondering what the difference is between the first two. I guess therein lies the difference of being assaulted with hands or feet.

Extreme Sports: Employees of a local Wal-Mart called police after a man attempted to shoplift from their store. They told officers the man hopped on a Tony Hawk bicycle and tried to ride out of the store, but he was tackled before he could reach the door. Mark that up on the list of surveillance videos I wish I could watch. A Tony Hawk bicycle? Isn't that like playing with a Jake Delhomme basketball?

Threat of the Week: ... And maybe the year. A 40-year-old woman called police after a known suspect called her one afternoon and threatened her. During the phone call, the suspect stated, "I will get my sister to whip your ass. She just got out of prison. I will kill your dog and your cat and feed them to you." Suddenly I'm very hungry for some Chinese food.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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