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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

Home Sweet Home: Police were called to an apartment complex on Tuckaseegee Road after a couple of tenants decided they liked their living quarters too much to leave. Employees at the complex told officers the tenants had been evicted and led off the property by the sheriff's department. The apartment was padlocked and the locks were changed. At some point after that, the tenants came back and broke into the apartment and began living there again for an unknown period of time.

Too Late: An employee at a local insurance company filed a police report stating that the company had been harassed over the phone by a woman trying to make good on a claim. The employee stated that the woman had called the office six times in one day about a life insurance policy that she filed for her father after he passed away. She is upset because she was not informed that the policy would not be any good. I had a couple of grandparents that I never got to meet; where is my money?

Doggone: A 20-year-old man called police after his dog was kidnapped during a leisurely walk. He told officers that he let the dog off the leash just for a minute, and it took off running. He lost sight of the dog, but a few minutes later, a witness told him she saw what happened to it. A man in a running car apparently opened his door and the dog jumped in. The man then drove away. You have to treat a dog pretty damn bad to make it call somebody for a getaway.

Risqué: A 61-year-old woman called police after her purse was stolen from a local Target. She told officers that somebody grabbed her purse, which she had hidden under some pajamas, while she tried something on in the lingerie department. No offense, but I'm slightly freaked out about the idea of a woman over 60 trying on lingerie.

Booty Call: A 21-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a known suspect over the phone. She said the man called her 21 times in one day after being told not to call. At one point, he stated, "You need to get your shit together. I am going to whoop your ass." I guess when military recruitment is as low as it is now, they just get the drill instructors to start making house calls.

Selfish: An employee at a local Texaco called police after someone shoplifted from his store. He told officers that two men came into the store and were walking around when one of the men started to scream and yell. Taking advantage of the diversion, the other man grabbed one 24-ounce can of Miller Lite and ran out of the store. His friend is going to be doing even more screaming and yelling when he finds out his scared-ass friend only grabbed a beer for himself.

Straight Shooter: A 36-year-old woman called police after being harassed and threatened by an ex-boyfriend. The man called her 20 times and sent her 30 text messages over the course of a couple of months. During one call the man said, "I'm coming to your house, and I have a gun. I will whoop your ass and spit in your face. I will shoot your fiancé." I can't figure out how you could ever leave such a passionate man. He seems like a keeper.

Get A Life: A man was arrested at Whisky River for trespassing after trying to come there the night after he was kicked out and banned for life.

Girlie boys: Police were called to a local Michael's store after a woman left her 10-year-old son in the building unattended for more than 20 minutes. She must have been mad at the father for taking him to a football game and wanted to spruce him up a little bit.

Kamikaze: Police and paramedics responded to a domestic-disturbance call after a woman was injured during a fight with her husband. The woman told officers the two began arguing, so she stabbed herself in the stomach with a long knife. "Damn woman, quit your bellyaching. You did it to yourself."

Good Thinking: A 20-year-old woman called police after being assaulted and threatened by her boyfriend. She said that during an argument that lasted an entire week, the man hit her with his hands and a cell phone over her face and head. He then told her he was planning to shoot her. It took you long enough! She told police she believes the threat "as he had just got done assaulting her."

Threat of the Week: A 20-year-old woman called police after being threatened over the phone by an ex-boyfriend. The man called her and stated, "I'm going to fuck you up. I'm going to kill you. You think you've been raped before wait until I get my hands on you." Yeah, because he's been working on his raping. It won't be anything like those two-minute rapes when you were dating – when he'd roll over and go to sleep afterward – I promise.

Blotter items are chosen from the file of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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