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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

Conspicuous: Police responded to a disturbance and found the person who had made the call. The witness said that one of his neighbors, whom he had never met before, had been acting suspiciously and then began banging on his door. The officers then approached the suspect's residence and he came to the door. Right in the middle of the ensuing conversation, the suspect pulled a corner bag filled with white powder from his right front pocket. As he was talking, he put the baggie up to his nose and inhaled the substance. Definitely take him to jail before he tries to show off his aim with that collection of illegal assault rifles.

Hide Among Them: In a similarly not-so-well hidden move, a woman was arrested because she stole alcohol from a grocery store. Witnesses told police that the woman was perusing the wine section at the store and picked out one she liked. She then sat on the floor and popped the cork out. After finishing the entire bottle (Where was the staff this whole time?), she put the bottle back on the counter and attempted to leave without paying for her consumed wine. Would it have been OK if she had paid for the consumed wine? That's the real question here.

Left To Her Senses: A 45-year-old woman called police after being the victim of a theft. The woman said she was walking down the street when a man ran up from behind her and snatched her purse. The purse contained $40 in cash, her eyeglasses and her false teeth. She told officers the suspect then fled the scene on foot, and she could not see which direction he went in at all. Well, if you had your glasses on your face you could've seen the man and maybe bit him or something. Or maybe not.

Biting The Hand: A 54-year-old man called police after a very trustworthy friend stole from him. He told officers that a woman he is close with came over to his house and asked him for money. While he was upstairs getting the money for the soon-to-be suspect, he left her down in the living room alone. When he came down and gave the woman the money, she was very grateful but acted as if she needed to leave right away. As she ran out the door, the victim saw a cord dangling from the bottom of her jacket. He looked back and realized his laptop was gone. He ran out to stop her but she had already made it into the getaway car and drove off. Guess that means you won't be getting that money back.

Unruly Students: A 27-year-old woman who teaches at Morgan School was assaulted last week by one of her students. The witness, also a teacher at the school, said she saw the student bite her co-worker's right arm and pull her hair nearly right out of the scalp. The other teacher probably sat back and thanked the Lord that she didn't get that damn kid in her class this year.

Unruly Customers: A 42-year-old manager of Burger King called police after being threatened by a man who was trying to eat at her store. The man became irate when the manager wouldn't give him more sauce than what's supposed to be given. When the suspect began cursing, the manager refunded his money and asked him to leave, seeing as there were small children around. Then the suspect got weird, stating, "You'll get yours. I know where you park in the morning." He then described the victim's car perfectly to her and explained that he can see her every day from his office window. That's creepy. Now you know how I feel when I see that weird masked man in your commercials.

More Unruly Students: Police were called to Northeast Middle School after a 13-year-old boy decided it was time to go. After the boy assaulted another student, he had a talk with the assistant principal and was sent to the in-school suspension room to wait on his father to pick him up. At this time, the kid leapt from his chair and ran out the door. After a search, authorities decided he had left the premises. I respect your dad. You would rather walk your ass home than face him. In a similar incident that same day, a student told a teacher at NMS that he would "pop a cap in her butt" for giving him a zero when he didn't do his work in class.

Threat of the Week: A 40-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a known suspect. The suspect called the victim one night and stated, "You're going to get yours. Not your brother, not your cousins, not anybody that is around you is going to be able to stop me. [Not Mr. T? Not Jack Bauer? Not anybody?] I'm going to get you, and when I do get you, you are going to feel it. So enjoy life."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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