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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

Hygiene Issues: A 47-year-old woman filed a police report after being assaulted by her son last week. She told officers that she got into an argument with her son after telling him that he needed to bathe himself, and he began swinging his arms wildly and struck her several times in the back and shoulders. For more details about this incident, check out the next episode of Teen Mom: 30 Years Later.

Take Me Home: A CATS bus driver filed a police report after being assaulted on the bus she was driving last week. The 43-year-old woman told officers that a passenger threw an on-board trash can toward her, and it nearly hit her on the head while she was driving. The can landed on the steering wheel, putting everyone on board at risk. The victim told officers that the suspect was angry because the bus was not taking the route he expected it to take.

The Jungle: A 28-year-old woman filed a police report after being assaulted at Jackalope Jack's last week. The woman told officers she was patronizing the tavern early one morning with friends when a woman approached her and accused her of flirting with her boyfriend. The victim told officers she tried to walk away, but the suspect followed her outside and punched her in the eye before knocking her to the ground. The suspect then peacefully returned to her completely trustful and loving relationship.

Round Trip: A 44-year-old woman filed a police report after being threatened by a man in the US Airways terminal of the Charlotte Douglas Airport. She told officers that when the man saw her, he stated, "I had no intentions of picking you up." He then began referring to the woman's child by stating, "I will kill you both."

Tiger Mom: Police were called to a local elementary school last week after a parent became irate at the administration. Witnesses told officers that the woman came to the school to complain about injuries her child had suffered the previous week. After being ignored, she began to raise her voice. The principal intervened and escorted the woman to the conference room. After a brief meeting, she was given a "ban letter," which enraged her even more. The parent "became out of control" and left the building, but not before breaking an ice chest and grabbing a pen from one of the administrator's hands, harming two people in the process. If I would've known you could be banned from the principal's office, I would've went for that early in my school career.

Silent Criminal: Employees at a local PetSmart called police after someone escaped from their store with stolen merchandise last week. The manager told officers that an unknown suspect removed screws and bolts from a secured display case in order to steal a "bark collar," which shocks dogs when they start barking. A witness wanted to yell out to stop the suspect, but she happened to be holding one of the collars in her hands at the time.

Rotten Scoundrel: Employees at a local McDonald's called police last week after realizing that their restaurant had been burglarized overnight. The manager told officers that an unknown suspect came in through a window and took cases of meat, Vitamin Water, cheese and apple juice from the business. If I was planning to steal meat from some place, McDonald's would not be on the top of my list.

School's Out: Police responded to a disturbance at a local high school last week after a fight broke out in the parking lot. The 17-year-old victim told officers that she was standing in the bus parking lot at the end of the day when a girl tapped her on the shoulder. When the victim turned around, the girl started striking her with her fists. The victim told officers that the suspect had warned her in the past that she was going to "get her" on the last day of school. You actually attended the last day of high school?

Starting Early: A 38-year-old man called police after his son's car was stolen from his backyard last week. He told officers that someone stole his son's "orange dual-headlight" Little Tykes four-wheeler from his yard overnight. He helped officers by letting them know that the truck had a broken taillight.

Threat of the Week: A 27-year-old woman called police after being threatened over the phone. She told officers that her ex-boyfriend called her last week and stated, "If you throw my stuff out, I am going to have someone tear your door down and come after you. Don't touch my stuff. If you were not at a bar I would kill you." Since when did Charlotte bars become safe zones?

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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