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Bizzare crime from Charlotte police files (July 7) 

Take what you can get

Hipster Hater Four NoDa businesses were hit in the early morning hours last week, and police believe the same suspect was behind all of them. It began with a man being caught on tape kicking the door in at the recently opened Company Store. The following night, someone broke into Crepe Cellar by smashing through the front entrance. Similar incidents took place at Cabo Fish Taco and JackBeagles. The man isn't apparently very smart or competent, as he broke into Company Store following their slowest night and only made off with about $30. At Cabo, his take was $15 in change. These were both actually more successful break-ins than at JackBeagles, where he was only able to crack the glass on the door and couldn't gain access.

Charity Work Management at a Goodwill in south Charlotte reported last week that an employee had been embezzling money from the store with fake refunds over the course of the month of May. The employee was entrusted to make transactions at the cash register, but instead took advantage of the good will of Goodwill and stole almost $2,000. So much for charity.

Right of Way A 71-year-old man was attempting to cross the street last week at Old Pineville and Grover roads when he was hit by a car. Instead of seeing if the pedestrian was okay, the man driving the car stepped out of his vehicle, yelled curse words at the pedestrian, then got back into his car and drove off. The pedestrian was hospitalized with minor injuries, but the injury to our faith in humanity is irreparable.

Personal Drought In west Charlotte, a 51-year-old woman filed a police report last week when she discovered that someone had been mooching off one of her utilities. She believes that over the last month, the suspect had been stealing water from the outside spigot using a garden hose, causing a $150 spike in her water bill. "Water" they doing with all that water, I wonder?

Budding Romance What might have begun as a simple token of affection and admiration turned into a case of emotional distress when a 45-year-old woman reported to police that someone sent flowers to her job in an attempt to persuade her to date him. The suspect continued to harass her, presumably into going on a date with him, despite multiple phone calls and text messages declining his "sweet" offers. The woman reports that she now fears for her life and that she's suffering from emotional distress. No wonder "nice guys" finish last.

Mailbox Malice Last week a 47-year-old woman in a residential neighborhood in west Charlotte called the police after four mailboxes on her street, including hers, were damaged. The suspect used bodily force — as opposed to the usual bat — to maliciously vandalize her and her neighbors' mailboxes around midnight.

Floored A 63-year-old man in Ballantyne called police after his floor was swept out from underneath his feet. The victim was floored by the fact that a suspect had forced entry into his home and stole $215 of laminate flooring. That's probably a good sign that you should stick with hardwood in the kitchen.

Pesky Kids Two kids were arrested last week for stealing a golf cart from Renaissance Apartments in west Charlotte. Luckily the golf cart was recovered and returned to the apartment complex, cutting the joyride short for the two presumably bored juveniles.

Know Your Rights During a traffic stop on I-85 South last week, police discovered a horde of paraphernalia. When the officers requested to search the suspect's Nissan Maxima, the suspect granted consent. The officers seized a long list of drugs, including methamphetamine, marijuana and cocaine. He must've been high on one of those if he let officers search his car.

Boxed Out Last week, an officer was working off duty as a security guard Uptown for Bank of America when he came across an intoxicated subject "walking around the square area causing problems." The drunk man was told to leave the area and that's when things took a sharp turn. The suspect walked down S. Tryon Street to a bus stop and began making racist remarks to a black male. The black male patiently told him he didn't want any trouble, but trouble is all the suspect wanted. He pulled a box cutter out and pointed it at the other man, who ran away. Witnesses called 911 and when the suspect and his girlfriend were stopped across the street, she had done what any good girlfriend would do and hid the box cutter in her bra. The suspect was arrested anyway.

Cheap First Aid The Dollar General store on Independence Boulevard was robbed of items that one could only assume was for a small medical emergency. Among stolen items, such as Band-Aids, were a wrist support and Cortizone Plus, totaling approximately $30. Seems like the suspect is nursing a minor fall — which seems hardly worth risking "pre-medicated" shoplifting.

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