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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (Oct. 20) 

Debate Season

Election Season 2016 A 30-year-old man from the Cotswold area suffered every ride-share customer's worst nightmare last week when he got into an Uber car with someone who was rearing to talk a little politics. The man later told police that his Uber ride was rolling along E. 7th Street when he and the driver got into a political argument. He asked the driver to let him out of the car immediately, but the two argued more before they were even able to come to a stop. After he got out of the car, the victim told police the Uber driver began chasing after him while yelling that he was going to "beat his ass."

Fork It Over A man went on a robbery spree near Reedy Creek Park while he was truly only equipped for a buffet spree. Two reports filed within minutes of each other show that the suspect went into two businesses to carry out armed robberies, but he wasn't holding a gun. The man, who went into Cottage Express Chinese Food and then Bakery and Deli Salvadoreno demanding cash from employees at each spot, was only armed with a fork. Police showed up shortly after and seized the man's weapon.

Not Wasting Time A woman's trip to Wild Wing Café got expensive frighteningly quick last week, and it wasn't because of anything she ordered. The woman told police that she arrived at Wild Wing in Ayrsley with a man who was driving and left her purse in the car at 8 p.m. By 8:30 p.m., she was already receiving alerts that someone was attempting to use her debit card to buy hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise at the Walmart right across the street. She checked the car and found that, sure enough, it was unlocked and her purse was gone.

Tarantino Fan It seems that Jules from Pulp Fiction made a stop in south Charlotte last week, and once again, he ran into a problem with that old wallet of his. A 26-year-old man filed a police report after a woman lifted his wallet in a Dunkin' Donuts on Colony Road. In the police report, the man described his missing property as a New York driver's license, seven $100 bills, two $20 bills, two $10 bills, three $1 bills and a wallet that says "Bad Motherfucker" on it.

Cold Blooded A 17-year-old girl called police after she was assaulted at work last week by a customer who must not have been happy with their service. The girl told officers that she was working at Zaxby's Chicken in east Charlotte when someone she had never seen before came in and threw a cup of ice in her face.

Odd Coinage Police responded to a home break-in in southwest Charlotte last week after someone stole a 61-year-old woman's money, both fake and real. The woman told officers the thief made off with a Crown Royal bag filled with $1,200 worth of loose change. It took much less effort to steal the next $1,000, which was on the top of the dresser in the form of a single bill. But hence, they should be happy with the haul of change because, as they were sure to angrily learn later, the $1,000 bill was a fake.

New Strategy While there are plenty of folks outside of Panthers games looking to rip people off by selling fake tickets, there are also those looking to rip off the ticket sellers. One 39-year-old woman said she was trying to get rid of three tickets, $140 each, and was approached by a man who said he wanted to check them to make sure they were real before buying them. He also presented $600 and asked for $280 in change. At some point in the exchange, the man caused the woman to drop all the money and tickets and in the ensuing chaos picked all of it up and ran off.

Need Bread A 30-year-old man returned to his home in east Charlotte one morning to find that someone had broken into the home using force at some point overnight. He told officers his door was kicked in and some items were missing, but they weren't the items you'd expect a true burglar to go after. This thief was just after a sandwich and a little cleanliness. According to the report, the only items missing were some pickles, some bacon, some sandwich meat, some cheese and a roll of toilet paper.

Numbskulls Each holiday brings new decorations and each set of decorations brings the same delinquents out from their hangouts to see who can steal the most ridiculous lawn ornament. One such troublemaker staked their claim to this year's Halloween decorations contest last week when they stole a 7-foot-tall skeleton decoration from the yard of an East Boulevard-based law firm called Gardner Skelton (ahhh, we see what you did there). Just to reinforce how dedicated these holiday thieves can be, employees at the law firm confirmed to police that the skeleton was secured to the tree by a thick cable that was cut during the caper.

Good Samaritans A 21-year-old man learned a lesson about humanity while looking for help last week outside his southwest Charlotte home. The man told police he flagged down a car to ask for help with his own car, which was in the parking lot of his apartment complex. A car carrying three males stopped for him and it appeared for a moment they would help him, but instead they pulled out a gun and robbed him of his cash and cellphone.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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