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BREAKING NEWS 

SOME DAILIES PULL DOONESBURY FOR TWO DAYS BECAUSE OF "OBJECTIONABLE LANGUAGE"

How about doing something really useful and permanently pull "Family Circus" and "Garfield" because of objectionable idiocy?

HARRELSON FORD SALESMEN INVESTIGATED, AND FIRED, FOR FALSIFYING CAR LOAN INFO

You want a car? You'll get it. That's a Louis F. Harrelson gar'ntee!

BUSH SAYS SCHOOLS SHOULD TEACH "INTELLIGENT DESIGN" ALONG WITH EVOLUTION

He forgot to mention teaching "flat earth science" along with the "round earth theory."

McCRORY SAYS "GANGS TODAY ARE IMPACTING CITIES THE WAY THE MAFIA DID 20 YEARS AGO"

Gangs are running Charlotte's construction industry and garbage pickup? Hmm, we didn't know that.

14-YEAR-OLD LINCOLN COUNTY BOY CHARGED WITH FIRST-DEGREE MURDER FOR KILLING MOTHER'S ABUSIVE LIVE-IN BOYFRIEND

What? Shouldn't this kid get a medal?

CHARLOTTE STING TRADES LEGENDARY POINT GUARD DAWN STALEY

And we thought only George Shinn made those kinds of classy moves.

CMS AND PANTHERS OFFERING "FOOTBALL MOM 101" CLASS

How insulting. How'd you like a "Basketball For Whites 101" or "Hockey For Blacks 101"?

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