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UK'S THE SUN FOLLOWS UP ON SADDAM UNDERWEAR PHOTOS WITH MORE "DICTATORS IN THEIR SKIVVIES" SHOTS.
"I got your weapon of mass destruction, right here."

BRITS FIND SILENT MAN ON THE BEACH. HE TURNS OUT TO BE A GREAT PIANIST.
Has anyone seen Tom Constanten lately?

REV. FLIP BENHAM OF OPERATION SAVE AMERICA SAYS, "ONLY LAS VEGAS BOASTS OF MORE STRIP JOINTS THAN THE QUEEN CITY."
Yet another feather in our cap! Chamber of Commerce, are you paying attention?

BUSH ADMINISTRATION ACCUSES NEWSWEEK OF DAMAGING AMERICA'S IMAGE. ABROAD
Once again, reality trumps any attempt at satire.

PATRICK CANNON WITHDRAWS FROM MAYORAL RACE
Guess he just can't bring himself to oversee a city with so many damn strip clubs.

UNIVERSITY AREA COMMUTERS MAD THAT SOUTHERN LEG OF I-485 WILL BE WIDENED BEFORE NORTHERN LEG IS COMPLETED.
Dammit, we're in a hurry for our exits to be overrun by cheesy strip malls.

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