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SEN. BILL FRIST COMES OFF AS A DORK AT HIS SPEEDWAY APPEARANCE

Presidential ambitions for Terri Schiavo's would-be savior seem to be in a permanent vegetative state.

ANOTHER REASON TO TAKE THE BUS. . . OR MOVE TO ATLANTA

Charlotte drivers pay on average $213 each year for vehicle maintenance because of bad roads, compared to $51 in Atlanta and $186 in Raleigh.

TOP-RANKING FBI OFFICIAL MARK FELT REVEALED AS DEEP THROAT

So he says. Personally, we still think Deep Throat was either Gerald Ford, Buddy Hackett or. . . Linda Lovelace.

CONSERVATIVE INDIANA JUDGE RULES A WICCAN FAMILY MUST "PROTECT" SON FROM ITS "NON-MAINSTREAM RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AND RITUALS"

What was that again about those evil "activist judges"?

MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR HOMES IN LAGUNA BEACH DESTROYED IN LANDSLIDE

Moral: Don't build where you're not supposed to build. Are you listening, developers?

TOM DELAY IS PISSED THAT HE WAS MENTIONED IN AN EPISODE OF LAW AND ORDER

Relax, Tom, soon that will be the least of your worries.

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