Celebrity sex crave in the age of AIDS 

Reprinted with permission from Not in My Family: AIDS in the African-Amrican Community (Agate), © Copyright 2006 by Omar Tyree.

In 1994, I read a fascinating article by the great writer Norman Mailer in Esquire. The piece was on the sex, fortune, and fame of the one-and-only superstar diva Madonna. Her career as a superstar was well into its second decade, and she was expanding her wings in London, a place she grew to adore toward the end of the '90s. Later, she moved there for good.

During their conversation, Mailer got Madonna to speak very frankly about her adventuresome sex life. Madonna was never one to hold back about sex, and as expected, she was pretty frank with her responses to him. She explained that she had done her thing with Tom, Dick, Hank, Dave, Joe, Walter, William, Jeffrey ... well, you get the picture. Madonna isn't exactly a bashful woman. However, she made a point to let Norman Mailer know that she always, or almost always, used protection.

That's when Mailer showed himself to be the top-notch writer, journalist and thinker that he is and has been for many years. In his response to Madonna's mention of always using protection during sex, Mailer's response was: If you crave sex as much as you do, and if you just can't do without it, and if it feels the best when it is raw and natural, then why cheat the process protecting yourself with a latex condom?

Mailer response was along the lines of: Hell, make it an all-or-nothing deal, if you just have to have it so much. We don't kiss with bubble wrap over our lips. We don't hold hands with gloves on. We don't give hickies with plastic spit protectors over our necks. So why experience the explosiveness of sex that we just have to have with an unnatural shell over the penis?

Boy, I couldn't wait to read Madonna's answer to that. That was a real-ass interview. That's real writing. That's driving the car over the cliff with no parachute.

Madonna, brave diva that she is and has been for a long time, agreed with Mailer -- in theory. She basically said that she saw his point, and that he was right. If she just had to have it, and since it feels so damn good when it's raw, then naturally she'd want to see how crazy she could get with her cravings. It made perfect sense to Madonna. Yet, in the real world of disease, AIDS, and unwanted pregnancies, it was simply more practical and sane for her to have her cake and eat it, too ... as long as a condom was protecting her.

Madonna went on to explain that her celebrity had complicated the matter. If she actually came down with something, she couldn't just go to a clinic and get it cleared up, because every gossip-spitting asshole in the world would want to know and talk about it. She explained that she couldn't have raw fun like that, even if she wanted to. She had an empire to protect. Her name, career, and brand were worth millions of dollars, and as far as her public knew, she was fucking like there was no tomorrow -- on every tour ... in every hotel room ... and during every hour of the day. Madonna was smart enough to understand that she couldn't participate in that, no matter how strong her carnal desires were.

Man, I read that conversation between these two brave white folks and locked the conversation in my mind. It was an article worth remembering. In fact, even considering my own minor celebrity as an up-and-coming writer, great sex always seemed that much greater when it was on the edge. When you met that new person, in that new city, at that late hour, and you felt what you felt and wanted to go for it -- that was the hottest sex in the world. But what if you didn't have a condom ready with you at the time? What were you gonna do?

I can remember those times like yesterday. And with a few of the girls, the rush of the sex crave was so spontaneous and insane that by the time I ventured out to grab a pack of condoms and make it back to the heated bedroom, the girl had thought it over and cooled off enough to change her damn mind.

"I don't wanna do this anymore. I mean, I hardly even know you."

Shit! We all know that feeling, when someone changes his or her mind on us at the last minute. It's a real heartbreaker.

Well, the more famous and sexy you are, the more insane the sexual situations get, and the more frequent they are. And I'm bold enough to say it: the majority of famous folks are on the edge anyway. Nine out of 10 of them are driven to succeed at any and all costs. That's how they got to be famous in the first place. They were the ones who would break their necks to get what they wanted, and once they became successful at it, they began to expect it.

So by the time R. Kelly got into trouble with his infamous video tape, no girl alive could tell him that he couldn't have her panties, with or without a condom on. Are you kidding me? When you've sold 50 million albums, or won six NBA championship rings, or taken home three undisputed heavyweight title belts, or gotten two Oscars, or produced a billion dollars worth of intellectual and creative property, or can ride out of your gated mansion in a Bentley to make it to your private jet for a business trip out of the country, regular, protected sex becomes boring. You start thinking about all kinds of unorthodox ways of getting your freak on, and I do mean freak!

Even if you do wear condoms, if you're screwing up to four and five different folks a week and enjoying a hot celebrity career that expands over several years, an accident is bound to happen. I mean, we're talking major Russian roulette here. The more sex you have, the more opportunities there are for something terrible to happen to you. But does that stop the celebrity from fucking? Hell, no! The reality is that most celebrities are willing to roll the dice on life to begin with. And if you're cautious with your passions, chances are that you're not going to have what it takes to become a celebrity.

The concept is very similar to the criminal mind. Once folks make up their minds that they're going to rob and kill people for a living, there ain't no going back. These jokers do what they do, and they get caught and arrested for it. Then they go out and do the shit again. Then they go to jail, serve time for it, get out of jail, and go do the shit again. I mean, once you make it a habit to do what you wanna do, it's hard as hell to break, especially when you've been successful at it.

Great, kinky, and raw sex with people you don't really know becomes an insane high. Why else would so many girls camp out for celebrity men, and why would so many celebrity men make themselves available to them? And we're not talking about just America here -- we're talking about a worldwide acceptance of once-in-a-lifetime, on-the-edge sexuality. These women are willing to throw their sanity, health and morals in the wind for a roll in the hay with a wanted man. Then AIDS came ... and nothing changed.

WHOA! MAGIC JOHNSON HAS WHAT? FROM DOING WHAT? WITH WHO, AND WHO, AND WHO, AND WHO?

Folks were scared straight, and everybody watched the press conference. I was in my senior year of college at Howard University at the time, staring at the small color TV in the recreation room of my dormitory with at least 25 other young college brothers. We all couldn't believe that shit. AIDS was a gay white man's disease for butt-fucking and such -- not for straight, black male athletes. That shocked the shit out of all of us. So we all stopped and thought about it for a minute. Then we went right back to fucking, but only more cautiously.

I can honestly say that the Magic Johnson issue brought the facts home to a lot of folks who continued to have sex recklessly, but over time, the message wore off. The concerts were still turning out the groupies, and the ballers were still inviting anxious broads to the after-parties.

It didn't make the situation any better when Magic Johnson went on to continue living -- which is not to say that we wanted to see the brother die. Magic Johnson has turned over a new leaf for African-American entrepreneurship on a major level. I'm quite proud of him, personally. But as he has survived HIV infection in a very public way, folks have found a way to convince themselves to go back to business as usual, fucking like there's no tomorrow.

By the time gangsta rap mogul Eazy-E died of AIDS-related complications in 1995, he was no longer as popular as he was in his NWA days, so the 'hood pretty much viewed him as an unlucky dude at the time. But aside from Eazy and Magic, can the black community even name 10 major black celebrities who have either died or been diagnosed with HIV or AIDS? And trust me, they are not all consistently protected as Madonna claimed to be. Nevertheless, by and large, the tragic disease continues to attack the unknown victims of unfortunate behavior and not famous people. Kanye West, on his album Late Registration, alluded to Magic Johnson, a wealthy athlete who has apparently survived the disease, as just another knock against poor people who can't afford the expensive medical treatments that he can.

Now I'm not saying that I wish it on myself or on anyone else, but just maybe it would be a strong and needed wake-up call for a present and popular celebrity to go down kicking, yelling, and screaming with the disease tomorrow to bring new attention to AIDS.

Africa is still suffering from it, that's for sure. And in Africa, the stories of the popularity of pure power and the men who enforce their rule on young, innocent women and infect them as they do are downright treacherous, if true. But how much can we really trust white-bread media sources to report the truth on the motherland? However, we do understand that the AIDS epidemic is widespread among the heterosexual community there.

Bill Clinton, the popular American president who had his own celebrity sex issues in and even before the White House, is ironically leading the charge to make AIDS medication less costly. Isn't that something? I guess Reverend Jesse Jackson could team back up with Slick Willie and help out.

That's just how complicated, hypocritical and intertwined the issues of sex, celebrity, and AIDS are. To this day, Jesse and Bill are considered good-looking, popular, political men who let their own sexual passions get the best of them, even while under the strongest moral scrutiny possible. And did they wear condoms to protect themselves and their families from disease in the heat of their passions? Obviously not. Jesse has a child born out of wedlock to raise, and as for I-don't-understand-the-question Bill, let's be honest here -- unless you're dealing with a known prostitute, how many people do you know who actually use a condom for a blow job?

Hey, man, it's hard to say no when your vivacious spirit says yes. And here's even more honesty: I wonder how many celebrity women have had abortions in their long-standing careers. I'm absolutely sure that their public relations machines would crucify any abortion practitioners who would reveal the truth. But there is no way in hell that so many celebrity women can continue to be sexually active, not on the Pill, and not get pregnant. And if they're on any kind of birth control whatsoever, then it's almost guaranteed that they're going raw a lot more often than women who aren't on birth control at all. Using birth control is like having a platinum you-can-fuck-me-without-a-rubber card. And I'm not saying that a woman will screw as many partners as a man would, but if they're dealing with a celebrity male, or another Type-A rich go-getter (which most of them do), then what about what he's doing with other women who may be on birth control as well?

There's just no way around the conflicts of celebrity cravings. And what do they do when they're not married? They date other celebrities, who have dated other celebrities, who have dated other celebrities, who have dated other celebrities. So we ultimately end up with one giant dick and pussy being shared by all the same people. That's just plain nasty if you think about it. And you really believe that all of these rich, horny, and spoiled motherfuckers are wearing condoms? You gots to be out of your mind! Even the married and so-called committed celebrities sleep around, get divorced, and then marry other celebrities who have slept around and have gotten divorces. But still, more than 95 percent of these celebrities come out of all of this sleeping around with no AIDS. Herpes, maybe, but no AIDS. Crabs, maybe, but no AIDS.

So we get right back to the question that Norman Mailer posed to Madonna: are we willing to roll the dice and indulge our sexual cravings, even in the face of the worldwide epidemic? Obviously, we are. And for those self-righteous brothers out there who are not celebrities but claim that they absolutely would never sleep around without using condoms, I give them this one last scenario to sleep or creep on:

Imagine having an opportunity to fuck Halle Berry, Meagan Good, Vivica Fox, Nia Long, Jennifer Lopez, Angelina Jolie, Carmen Electra, Tyra Banks, Pamela Anderson Lee, Eva Longoria, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, and a thousand other wannabe models and starlets who look better than them (but have not gotten their breaks yet). And you know, when you deal with this kind of woman, slow decisions will definitely blow your chances. So how many of them are going to turn you down because you may not have a condom on you at the exact minute that they want your dick? Now, I'm not saying that absolutely no one can turn this temptation down, but you get the picture. That 100 percent protection shit is virtually impossible in the fast lane. Fucking under crazy circumstances and becoming a celebrity nearly go hand-in-hand.

So where does AIDS fall in that decision process? More than likely, in the heat of passion, the majority of celebrities find a way to take their chances with their lives. That's just how they live, no matter how crazy it may seem. Their craving for sex and life is just that strong. And so is mine. You can tell that by the crazy rawness of this essay. So please, wish a brother luck! And pray for us all.

Reprinted with permission from Not in My Family: AIDS in the African-Amrican Community (Agate), copyright 2006 by Omar Tyree.

Omar Tyree is a best-selling author and recipient of the NAACP Image Award for Literary Fiction in 2001. His fourteenth novel, What They Want, was published by Simon & Schuster in July 2006. View more at www.omartyree.com.