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Cheating on cancer-stricken husband 

OK: Female, married 15 years, one young child. No sex with husband over last five years. Have tried therapy, talking, not talking, confrontation -- you name it, Dan, I tried it. Lingerie, kink, porn. Seriously, everything. A year and a half ago, I got into a relationship with a married guy, a man who also wasn't getting any at home. Our agreement is basically this: no strings, no ties that could hurt our families, have as much fun as we can.

My husband just got diagnosed with late-stage cancer. He is dying. Six months. Leaving him is not an option. On some level, I feel horribly guilty about still seeing my lover, but it's the only outlet I've got.

Am I a complete skank/CPOS?

No Good Acronym

You were doing what you needed to do to stay sane and stay married before your husband's diagnosis, NGA, and you should continue to do whatever it takes to stay sane and stay married -- for your own sake, for your husband's sake, for your kid's sake. If seeing your lover helps, I think you should continue to see your lover.

But see him less often, and redouble your efforts to keep the affair secret. You are less the spouse and lover now, and more the nurse and caretaker. In consideration of the good years you had together and with the knowledge that his illness could have been behind his lack of interest in sex, let go of whatever resentments you have. Do everything you can to make your husband comfortable and make his death "good" -- and that includes keeping your affair from him.

Realistically and logistically, NGA, I think you won't be able to see as much of your lover over the next six months as you have over the last 18. And six months isn't that long to go without. But if you need to see your lover a few times in order to stay sane and stay married and get through this awful time, then you should see your lover -- for your own sake, for your husband's sake, for your kid's sake.

I need support under my scrotum in order to ejaculate. I am 52 years old, and this condition has gotten worse as I have gotten older. When I am having intercourse, I need a position that supports or raises my scrotum, and when I masturbate, I need to put something under it. Is this OK? Is there a solution to make coming during intercourse easier?

This Old Scrote

Before I touch on your sack, I'd like to briefly -- very briefly -- touch on George Rekers's.

Rekers is a towering figure in the religious right. He's the co-founder of the Family Research Council; a member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, a group that claims it can cure homosexuality; and the go-to guy for "expert" testimony about how gay people threaten and endanger children. And last week, Rekers got busted coming back from a 10-day European vacation with a 20-year-old male escort he found on Rentboy.com. Rekers told two reporters from the Miami New Times that he "can't lift luggage," so what other choice did he have but to hire a 20-year-old with an eight-inch cock?

To mark the downfall of yet another crazy and hypocritical closet case, I propose that "whatever floats your boat" be immediately permanently retired in favor of "whatever lifts your luggage." This will be George "Rentboy" Rekers's legacy, his lexi-colonic gift to the English language. Help spread the meme.

Back to you, TOS: First, talk about this with a doc -- get your sack examined and your prostate checked. If there's nothing medically wrong, rest assured there's nothing wrong. Some guys have large, loose sacks and sensitive balls, and the slap, slap, slap of intercourse or masturbation can be uncomfortable, and lifting your luggage spares you the slap, slap, slap. Alternately, TOS, let's not forget that your dick, balls, sack and taint compose one big erogenous zone. Lifting your luggage may provide you with a little bit of extra ball/sack/taint stimulation, added stimulation that helps put you over the top, and naturally you rely on that zap more at 52 than you did at 32. So instead of viewing your need for a ball lift as a problem that needs solving, why not view ball support as the solution to a problem. Or to put it another way ...

Whatever lifts your luggage, TOS, whatever lifts your luggage.

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