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Confessions of Wine Snobs 

Or always keep a corkscrew handy

Here's a news flash: wine snobs lurk everywhere. And once in a blue moon, they live a story worth making fun of. I polled every wino I know to find out the most embarrassing or funny thing they ever did with, for, about or in wine. So the next time you're feelin' stupid about your secret obsession with wine, read these and smile.Jus' Gotta Git Some

A guest arrived at Howard's house lugging one of those huge bottles of wine. When the regular corkscrew failed to remove the cork, Howard the Home Depot Man donned his power drill to open the golden bounty. Wine snobs would call him gauche.Spittin' Fools

Dawn recalls: "I dated a wine wholesaler when I was younger. At my first big wine tasting, I didn't know you were supposed to spit the wine out, so I was pretty hammered when the president of a winery began talking to us. When he informed me one should spit the wine in a bucket, I thought he was pulling my leg and laughed. To my dismay, my swig of cabernet snorted right out my nose, and onto the wine bigshot. Needless to say, that was my last date with the wine wholesaler."Oooh... That Smell

Debby confesses: "I use a big jug of burgundy for my beef stews, and it stays open between cooking occasions. But this last time, the stew tasted kind of nasty and bitter. I kept adding stuff to get rid of the horrible flavor, even cooked it for 24 hours, but the taste never went away. Then, I finally figured out why. The wine was so far gone, it smelled rank. That's the last time I cook with wine I wouldn't drink."Wine RecommendationsChateau Routas 2001 Rouviere 2001 Rose Fabulous value in this fragrant, well-balanced, dry French rose. Wild strawberries define the aroma and flavor of this perfect summer wine. $9 ****

Rosemount Estate 2000 Traminer-Riesling A slightly honey sweet Aussie combo of two German grapes, Gewurztraminer and Riesling. Goes down easy with spicy cuisine or pre-dinner sipping. $8 ***

Hope Estates 2000 Shiraz Wow! Fabulous value in a $10 wine. Very approachable with big cherry personality. A real smooth operator. $10 ****

Comments? Questions? Great wine experience to share? Talk to us! We'll feature your comments in our Mailbag. E-mail corkscrew @creativeloafing.com or snail mail to Corkscrew, 1310 E. Ninth Avenue, Tampa, FL 33605.

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