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THE GIRL NEXT DOOR Risky Business comparisons are inevitable, but even with an R rating, this proves to be more frisky than risky, as studious high school student Matthew (Emile Hirsch) learns that his beautiful new neighbor Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert of TV's 24) is a former porn star trying to begin a new life. With its two aptly cast leads and some nicely realized moments in which the pair tentatively get to know each other, this clearly had the potential to succeed as a love story; instead, the focus is inexplicably drawn away from Danielle and placed on the slapstick antics of Matthew and his buddies, forcing the movie to eventually deteriorate into just another chaotic teen comedy more interested in elaborate pranks than emotional bonding. 
HELLBOY The beginning of Hellboy looks like the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark, and that's a good thing. But the rest of the movie brings to mind last year's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and that's not a comparison anyone would clamor to receive. That's a shame, because this comic book adaptation about a demonic superhero appeared to have the right director in Guillermo del Toro and the right actor in Ron Perlman. But despite their combined efforts, this grungy movie isn't original enough, exciting enough, or humorous enough to sustain interest, let alone spawn the expected sequel or two.
INTERMISSION The opening scene of this scrappy Irish import finds Colin Farrell's small-time crook going from sweet to shocking in an eye blink -- and the film that follows closely mirrors this unpredictable action. This is an example of the slice-of-life film, the type of sprawling, multi-vignette movie whose success is almost always defined by how interesting we find its characters. Here, there isn't a single person who wears out their welcome, and it's a sign of a well-written movie when all of the individual episodes carry equal weight. Even with a strong cast (Farrell, Colm Meaney, Shirley Henderson), director John Crowley and writer Mark O'Rowe had trouble scraping together the funds to bring this to the screen, but their perseverance will be appreciated by anyone looking for a meaty film that will stick to the ribs.
JERSEY GIRL After losing his wife (Jennifer Lopez) during childbirth and his job following an ill-advised tantrum, a publicist (Ben Affleck) returns to his modest Jersey hometown to raise his daughter (Raquel Castro) with the help of his dad (George Carlin); there, he finds himself attracted to a forthright video store clerk (Liv Tyler, appealing in a role that's pure male fantasy). Despite its uneven humor as well as sentimental moments that recall John Hughes at his worst, Jersey Girl is being promoted as writer-director Kevin Smith's first "adult" film, the one in which he has finally dropped his juvenile antics and made a story that involves real-world characters and real-life situations. My response: Where are Jay and Silent Bob when we really need them?
JOHNSON FAMILY VACATION A game Cedric the Entertainer headlines this sloppy comedy about a man who packs up his family -- estranged wife (Vanessa Williams), smart-aleck teenage son (dreadful Bow Wow), impatient teenage daughter (Solange Knowles), and Cosby-kid-cute little daughter (Gabby Soleil) -- and embarks on a cross-country trip to attend a family reunion. The script is mostly comprised of isolated on-the-road vignettes, each one exhibiting a small measure of comic potential before invariably collapsing with nary an adequate punchline in sight. Cedric pops up in a second role, as lecherous Uncle Earl, and a little of this character goes a long way -- say, roughly the distance from Anaheim to Albany. 1/2
KILL BILL VOL. 2 The inability to notice that the emperor had no clothes -- not even a bandanna -- helped turn Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill Vol. 1 into a critical darling and a favorite of fan-boys everywhere. But although originally conceived as one movie until the length dictated the creation of two separate flicks, the Kill Bill volumes couldn't possibly be further apart -- in style, tone or content. Volume 1 diehards will inevitably feel let down by the emphasis on talk rather than action, but Volume 2 is nevertheless the superior movie. It's better written, better acted (especially by Uma Thurman and David Carradine), and more emotionally involving, although it's still obvious that Tarantino should have taken the scissors to his project and carved out a single kick-ass movie instead of two bloated ones. 1/2
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