Pin It
Submit to Reddit
Favorite

Getting away — and getting off 

Hey, everybody: two things ...

First: A couple of weeks ago, the GOP officially "denounced" me. Because the nation is at peace, Americans are going back to work, and the climate situation is completely under control — so, hey, why not go after the gay dude who writes that smutty sex column and gives Rick Santorum fits?

Second: A Savage Love reader recently denounced me for failing to devote any recent column inches to my readers' titillating anecdotes. As I hate disappointing a reader, I invited folks to send in their dirty/sexy vacation stories. Here are a few.

I was 15 and on vacation in Cape Cod. Beaches never did anything for me, so I went back to the hotel. On my way, I ran into another teenager, a girl. I struck up a conversation and was surprised to hear her answer in a British accent. Like myself, she was bored as hell. I invited her to my hotel room to get high. I make my move, which she goes along with. We're both naked when I get an awful idea. Being young and ripped, I vocalize it without considering the outcome: "What if you pretend to be Hermione Granger?" This was about the time of the fourth movie release, and I had a big crush on Emma Watson. As soon as the words left my lips, I knew that I wasn't getting laid that day. But I got laid that day.

The Wander Years

When I was 15, my very lenient parents took me and two of my girlfriends to one of those all-inclusive resorts in Mexico. We partied and drank with some nice Mexican boys we met on the beach. On our final night, we all downed a bunch of flaming shots. I ended up falling through a second-story window and cutting my head pretty badly, one of my girlfriends and I got into a drunken fistfight, and then I lost my virginity on the beach to one of those nice Mexican boys. I woke up the next morning with a hangover, drunken shits, and a pussy full of sand. The plane ride back was miserable ... but, oh, what a memory.

Good Times

In the Provincetown dunes, my BF and I met another couple with the same first names as ours. They invited us to their campsite later that night. That's when I learned four is the tangle threshold — four bodies can literally get so tangled you have to stop to undo yourselves. They had a little propane lamp, and as we were leaving, we could see their shadows from outside the tent — meaning we had just done a four-way shadow show for everyone in the campsite.

Rob #2

Thanks for sharing, vacationers. Your regularly scheduled sex advice returns next week — now go Google "santorum," everybody.

Savage Love

Dan Savage

sex on vacation

Pin It
Submit to Reddit
Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Creative Loafing encourages a healthy discussion on its website from all sides of the conversation, but we reserve the right to delete any comments that detract from that. Violence, racism and personal attacks that go beyond the pale will not be tolerated.

Latest in Savage Love

Search Events

www.flickr.com
items in Creative Loafing Charlotte More in Creative Loafing Charlotte pool

© 2018 Womack Newspapers, Inc.
Powered by Foundation