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Help getting around Uptown 

If you thought not being able to get gas was bad -- imagine having your tire fly off your car while driving on the interstate. Well, let me tell you ... it sucks.

I took my car to the shop to have my brakes replaced and when the mechanics put my wheels back on, they failed to tighten the lug nuts on my right rear tire. As you can imagine, on my way home that tire fell off -- it fucking fell off! -- making my Jeep Wrangler's rear crash down. I'm still scratching my head as to how the hell someone who went to tire college failed the entire semester on the lug nut.

The only thing I can think of more endangering and idiotic are those who think drinking and driving is a good idea. Especially when you consider the array of cool alternative means of getting our drunk asses home ... some of which get our car home, too, so we don't have to leave it behind to get ticketed, towed or broken into.

Ydrive -- Two drivers come and meet you at your car, and one of them drives your car home, getting both you and your car home safe and sound. $25 for pick-up/$2 per mile. 704-525-5252.

• Zingo -- They transport themselves to your car via a folding motorbike -- they then fold up said motorbike and put it in your trunk to drive your car home. $15 for pick-up/$3 per mile. 704-804-8000.

• Kabby Oke Kab -- Not your typical taxi ride. Billy, the driver-DJ has a computerized playlist for which he can pull up just about any song while the words are displayed on a monitor in the back. He even has a speed karaoke game he plays with his riders. But don't worry, if you get mic fright, Billy will sing with you. 704-661-6873. Standard taxi fees (karaoke included free).

Charlotte Pedicabs -- Rickshaws, if you will. And they run all year long. 704-777-4508.

And for the lake ...

LKN Transportation -- A chauffeur by the name of Cowboy goes all over the lake and up and down I-77 in what reminds me of a church van -- but with a recliner in the back, which is like his VIP section. 704-579-0313.

Considering I used to live in N.Y.C., I like to walk. My girls hate meeting up at my house because I always insist we walk to our Uptown destination.

However, when it comes to getting home, I live just far enough out of safe walking distance. But for some reason the other night I thought I was safe because I was walking in the median carrying mace. Hey ... it's still smarter than drinking and driving.

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