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Hey, Mama! 

Sunday, May 13

Last night, you got home late from spending Saturday in the usual fashion, shutting down some bar or the like. But, wait ... as you roll out of bed around noon and look at the calendar hanging on the refrigerator door, you notice that today's date is circled in red ink. You try to come up with a reason, but pull a blank. Then, suddenly, you spy the tiny print in the lower right-hand corner of the May 13 square -- Mother's Day. OMG! You forgot Mother's Day, again! WHAT A PRICK! Get thee to the mall and buy yo' mama, the women who wiped your butt when you couldn't, assured you of your beauty before it was in bloom, but most importantly gave you LIFE, a damn good present for all her effort to turn you into a semi-decent human being. All day. Priceless. Mama's House, Anywhere in Charlotte. You betta call. E-mail ain't her thing.

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