Dear Karma Cleanser:
My girlfriend found $100 at the mall the other day. After some shopping and some soul-searching, she decided to try to turn the money in so that she could show her two young sons the right thing to do.
We went to the store that she found the money in front of, but they said no one had come in to claim it. So she went to the mall desk to inquire there. A security guard said she could leave the money with them, and that if no one claimed it in 60 days then he thought it would be destroyed. After she filled out the report, he did not want to give her copy, even though the form said that she is supposed to get one. She is one of the sweetest people I know, and she has had to struggle financially most of her life because the children's father has never once helped her.
I think her finding the money was karma giving back for all the good things she has done in her life, and that it was hers to keep. (At the time, she could have really used the money.) Or do you think that it will come back to her another day in some way?
---- Just CuriousAfter reading the unabbreviated version of your novel, er, letter, it sounds as if the security guard obviously had plans to pocket the cash. Your girlfriend gets double points for trying to use the incident to give her sons an ethics lesson, though we're guessing the ultimate lesson here was, "Don't trust the man." No worries: Her next discovery will catch you both off guard -- in a good way.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
I think I have an ulcer. I also think I deserve it. For the past three months I've been flat out miserable in my job. I work for a small, family-run warehouse business, and my boss is an asshole. Every day I hate the thought of going to work, and as I'm driving to the warehouse I imagine different scenes in which my boss is killed. One day he gets crushed in the freight elevator. The next, he's electrocuted by one of the packing machines.
Just to be clear, I'd never hurt the man myself, nor do I actually want to see him die. But I know that if he should suddenly croak then no one in the company would be all that sad to see him go. I think my ulcer comes from worrying about my job so much. Will all these thoughts about fatal accidents hurt my karma?
---- Aching for the Kiss of DeathYou're scaring us. Seriously, the Karma Cleanser hasn't gotten a letter this morbid in months. It's imperative that you find a new job -- now. Have you ever considered that if the boss did actually expire, that the company would probably fold with him? Get out now before either of those fantasies become reality, and for Chrissakes see a doctor about your indigestion. A wise woman recently told us, "We all spend too much time working not to love it!"
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.