Dear Karma Cleanser:
My girlfriend and I have had a fairly open relationship. We've done a few threeways before, the rule being that we both have to be attracted to the person and that we agree never to see them again.
The rule got tested when we ended up in a weird situation with our neighbor, Nathan. We hang out with Nathan every couple of months, with drinks in our shared backyard and nights out to bars. We were with some friends getting ready to go out when Nathan came over. He was obviously smashed. We kept drinking at our place until everyone had pretty much left. Everyone, that is, except for Nathan. I'm not sure what came over him, but he stripped down to his boxers and started talking about how much he wants to be the "special guest" in a couple's bedroom.
I think we entertained the idea for about five minutes, but we agreed (without speaking a word) that it was probably not a good idea to sleep with him. I could tell that my girlfriend was more into the idea than I was. I pretended to pass out so Nathan would leave. The next day, my girlfriend said she was glad we didn't go there, but that she thinks Nathan is attractive. She also says she told Nathan privately that we've never experimented sexually, which is a lie. I feel like this is the start of something bad, but I'm not sure how to avoid karma's retribution for it.
---- The Uninvited GuestRetribution? For what -- choosing the wise path and sticking to the boundaries you and your partner had previously established? Sleeping with a neighbor almost always turns ugly in the end, and the potential awkwardness is tripled in your situation. It's not a question of karma, but common sense: Good fences make good neighbors, threesomes do not.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
In response to "Bad Daughter" who wrecked her dad's truck without telling anyone: The same thing happened to me when I was 18, except the roles were reversed.
It was my mother's car that got banged up. My parents were already in a bad place in their marriage. The car accident didn't help. My father didn't believe my mother when she said she didn't do it. He said she had a history of lying to him. She retaliated by checking into his bank accounts, and she found out that he'd had an affair. They divorced six months later. I've never told anyone that story, and to this day I feel like I caused their divorce.
---- Bad SonYou didn't cause the split, but you set into action the chain of events that would cast light on a shady situation. That's not a bad thing. Let go of your guilt and know that karma would have caught up with both of them eventually, fender-bender or not.
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
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