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Karma Cleanser 

Dear Karma Cleanser:

I am a 23-year-old man seeing a 34-year-old man. We've been together for two years. The first few months of the relationship were great. Then we agreed to become serious and he started to show his true colors. I was put out of the car on the interstate at around 3am, about 30 miles away from home. He did, however, come back and pick me up.

Last year, his mom passed away. The funeral was out of state. He had no way to go because his car was messed up. I drove him 714 miles trying to prove how worthy I am as a lover. I almost lost my job. As soon as we returned, he became worse. Last August, I caught him in a compromising situation with someone he had known for a week and was interested in. He said they didn't have sex, but if they did, it was not my business. After that, he called constantly, worried that I was with someone else.

Three days later, he got locked up. Who did he call? Me. I teased him, of course. He said he called me for help because he trusts me and needs me. I told him to call that other guy.

I helped him, but I can't forget his day of adultery. Now he says things can be good between us if I could only forget and forgive him for what he did. I don't know if I can. He wants us to be like it was when we first met. I want out so bad, but still I am with him because I am holding on to this hope. Am I stupid for still being with him? Should I move on? Sorry this was so long, but this is only half of it. -- Indecisive

First off, we here at Karma Cleanser should be hearing from your loser boyfriend, not you. We're in the business of fielding confessions from people who've done generally shitty things to undeserving saps like yourself, not dishing out love advice. However, given the bizarre and disturbing details of your dilemma, we can't help but respond. Get out! Don't take time to straighten the deck chairs, Kate Winslet, because this Titanic is sinking. Do yourself a favor and cut all ties with Mr. Dysfunction before he completely craps on your last iota of self-worth. Judging from your last line, we may already be too late.

Been bad? Get right with the universe at karma@creativeloafing.com.

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