Pin It
Submit to Reddit
Favorite

Karma Cleanser 

Dear Karma Cleanser:

A colleague of mine was in my cubicle bragging about how big his iPod is. This guy is a total show-off anyway, always trying to make the other kids feel inferior. So he hands me his iPod and I'm holding it while he's showing me some porno video and, well, I don't honestly know what happened next. There was a crash and then, no iPod. I guess the earphone chord was snagged on the side of my desk or something, because the thing flew out of my hands and hit the floor with a thud.

My co-worker started cursing and picked up the 'Pod -- only to find that it no longer works. Now he blames me for this. He has not asked me to buy him a new one, although I am guessing this is coming soon. What should I do? I worry that if I don't reimburse him, my own iPod (which is now three years old) will spontaneous explode one day, or that my karma will somehow suffer otherwise. Advice?
-- Not His Ear Bud



We'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that such accidents do happen. Your iPod -- a virtual dinosaur, by today's standards! -- may give out soon, but don't attribute that to your slippery digits. Sounds like your co-worker got what he deserved for flashing around dirty flicks in the workplace. You know what they say about one bad Apple.

Dear Karma Cleanser:

I got trapped in an ice storm with nothing but a can of beans, an iron and a box of tic-tacs. Three days later, I clawed my way out and drove 40 miles to the nearest grocery store -- and had a flat tire on the way. A truckload of immigrant workers picked me up, but they didn't speak English so well and ended up driving me 100 miles past my destination. I finally escaped from their flatbed, and hitchhiked my way back to a cousin's house who lives near the Interstate. She wasn't home when I got to her house, having slipped on the ice and broken her hip. I broke into the house anyway and was just getting comfortable, when I realized that I was not alone. Her pet rottweiler smelled the salsa on my pants and attacked. I ended up in the same hospital as my relative, with stitches and a tetanus shot. Eventually a friend drove me home, where I found that a pipe had broken and flooded my basement. I'm still picking up the pieces, but I have to ask, why is karma so cruel?
-- Beans and Haters



Your problem isn't karma, it's your propensity for telling lies! You expect us to believe you have an e-mail address, but no cell phone? Save these fibs for the Fiction Contest, buddy.

Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.

Pin It
Submit to Reddit
Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Creative Loafing encourages a healthy discussion on its website from all sides of the conversation, but we reserve the right to delete any comments that detract from that. Violence, racism and personal attacks that go beyond the pale will not be tolerated.

Latest in Karma Cleanser

Search Events

www.flickr.com
items in Creative Loafing Charlotte More in Creative Loafing Charlotte pool

© 2018 Womack Newspapers, Inc.
Powered by Foundation