I pinky swear that Cans Bar and Canteen isn't paying me to advertise in my column -- I just really like going there. It's safe to say I am one of their many regulars. In fact, I am such a regular, I have earned top eight status on their MySpace page.
I park my jeep near Cans every time I go out in uptown because it's either where I start off or end up. Cans is birthday party central for the majority of my friends, as well as Dale Jr. (Note: I don't consider Jr. a friend. Not only does he have no idea I exist, but he was four hours late to a commercial shoot I was working on and I don't respect people who don't respect other people's time). Anyway, how can you not appreciate a place that has a brewery and fried pickles?
Party like a rockstar ... and sing like one too.
Every Sunday Cans has Live Band Karaoke, but last Sunday it was Cans Idol where the winner got $500 and fame at Cans. And being the regular I am, I got to be a much smaller scale Paula Abdul and judge Cans Idol alongside Chad Rock from Kiss 95.1 and Brian from Cans (a.k.a Simon Cowell).
When Brian told me I had to make comments after each contestant's performance, I told him I was going to need him to make me another drink (Hey, just wanted to really get in character as Paula).
When the contest started there was a big crowd, yet only six contestants signed up. People have no problem publicly humiliating themselves on any given karaoke night, but throw $500 into the mix and all of a sudden their balls aren't hairy enough. But by the end of the night a few more contestants either grew balls or some liquid courage.
Speaking of which, after the first contestant and second Blue Moon, I was cured of my mic fright. I even told a man he had an overactive pelvis.
Some contestants could've bypassed Cans for American Idol, while others were mediocre at best (But hey, at least they had balls). But in order to remain sane, when they were singing I was watching the Yankees beat the Mets and texting my friends in the crowd. The more Blue Moons I had, the more honest I got. There were three rounds, narrowing it down to three contestants in the final round and the audience named the winner. After Diana sang I had to wipe the drool off the table from the male judges; I am strickly dickly, but she was hot -- move over Carrie Underwood, there's a new Cans Idol in town, and her name's Diana.