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More tales from the bathroom 

I was standing in line to use the restroom in a small club's small bathroom and there were two go-go dancers just standing in front of one of the two stalls, hoarding it, but not using it.

Impatient, I pointed to the bathroom and asked jokingly, "Are you going to use that?"

And then, the following conversation really, actually happened ...

Go-Go dancers: "We need plastic."

Me, confused: "You need a ... tampon? I don't have any, but I can go try and find you one."

Go-Go dancers: "No, we need a credit card!"

Me, even more confused: "Why do you need a credit card to go to the bathroom, this isn't London ... it's free."

The go-go dancers laughed and another impatient girl opened her wallet, the dancers just reached and grabbed her Costco card. "This will work."

All of a sudden I see two girls kneel around the toilet ... It wasn't until then that I realized what was going on -- I was having to hold my pee for some coked-out go-go dancers.

And then I hear them through the stall door. "God! I can't believe that girl didn't know why we needed a credit card -- is she from another planet?"

I wanted to say, "Yes! I am from another planet than you. I live on the planet of dignity and self-respect." Instead I just said, "I am still in here! I can hear you!"

Am I supposed to feel less cool because I am so naïve about drugs that I didn't realize a credit card was cocaine paraphernalia? Nah ...

Since Charlotte's too small of a town for big mouths, I am not going to disclose where this conversation happened to protect the names of the innocent (and not so innocent).

But speaking of clubs ... The owners of Sunset Club aren't just remodeling their exclusive club on South Boulevard; they've done an Extreme Club Makeover to Situations off Woodlawn, turning it into Kiss Lounge and putting an upscale lounge in a not so upscale location. As in the seedy strip mall encompassing Gentlemen's Club and Red Door ... thus putting the strip in strip mall. But, owner Rick Gur sees it as Charlotte's version of N.Y.C.'s Meat Packing District, and has made the interior worthy of rivaling that of a N.Y.C. club. They have a DJ in one corner and a bongo player accompanying the beats in the other, a pristine patio, and VIP sections made up of beds ... should you want to pass out, or make love in tha club like Usher. Not that I necessarily recommend either one.

Meanwhile, the Sunset Club will reopen theirs Sept. 4 -- read about the renovations and new concept on qcvibes.com.

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