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More tales from the ladies' room 

Essentially, Kashmir Lounge and Fiji Sushi Bar are two separate entities, but because there's only one bathroom between the two of them, it's the same establishment. Under the toilet they have what looked like a kitty litter mat. I'm not sure what purpose it serves -- to wipe our feet or to get our heels stuck in while sitting on the toilet? But it ended up making sense because the last time I was there, there were a lot of catty girls in that restroom.

I don't know if there really is a curse on 5th Street that gives even the bathroom a bad vibe, or if those girls just needed to touch up their 'tudes in the mirror ... but waiting in line to use that restroom, I lost 10 minutes of my life I will never get back -- listening to girls plot a covert bitch operation on another girl.

Not to mention it's like a self-esteem checkpoint in there. "I look fat." "No you don't." "I wish I had more cleavage!" "Here!" (Cue to one girl rigging the other girl's bra to make her boobs pop out of her shirt). And for some comic relief, a girl came in there looking for her purse, and as another girl was going into the stall, the purse seeker asked her if she could peek in and look for it. The assumedly inebriated girl proceeds to lean into the stall and shout, "PERSON? Is there a person in here? PERSON!" There was neither a purse, nor a person in that stall.

And one night at the EpiCentre I found myself wishing there was such a thing as a Lost and Found for humans ... because I found a girl passed out in the bathroom stall. Next thing I know, she was like a stray puppy that I had to find a home for. The full story is online at brittneyafterdark.com.

You know, I feel bad for bathroom attendants -- they have to sit in a bathroom all night and smell shit. Which in itself makes them worthy of a tip -- but they can be night savers ... especially when Aunt Flow comes and crashes your party. Like a "real woman of genius," I salute you Ms. Lady Room Attendant ... for always having tampons.

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