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One boyfriend, side of fries 

There is no food more fattening than a boyfriend ... yet nothing tastes better (not even cheese fries with ranch). That's right, I have a boyfriend. A man. A beau. A boo ... No, my facebook status does not say "It's complicated," but it kinda is. Isn't everything? For starters, it's a long-distance relationship. But sometimes it takes distance to get close.

But while I am off falling in love, I am simultaneously falling off ... to the point where I was asked if I got a boob job. "No, I just gained weight." Aside from the constant traveling, thus altered activity, and all of the eating out, of food that is -- when you have a boyfriend all you do is eat together. "What do you want to do?" ... "I don't care ... let's go eat." There are a lot of calories in love. At least sex burns calories.

Well that, and last week I shot a Bud Light commercial at the Port-a-Party tailgate at the Panthers game. You know, the one where Jake Delhomme essentially played for the Eagles. The beer and the stadium catering alone probably made me gain five pounds. Waking up in a food coma after a night of eating too much is worse than a hangover.

Having someone in your life can change your life, from your routine to your priorities to your body -- and it changes your nightlife, too. You essentially stop caring as much what you look like when you go out. And when you're not out together, you even dress a little less provocatively because sometimes it's nice to feel comfortable and not have to be perfect -- and to have someone at home who thinks you look the hottest in sweatpants anyway. As long as you're happy with your body and the person who consistently and exclusively caresses your body is happy, then who cares what onlookers think? And who cares who's looking? Who are we even getting dressed up for anyway?

But when a woman does pay attention to the attention she gets from other guys when she has a boyfriend ... is she an attention whore, or is her boyfriend just not giving her enough attention? Either way, it's not right -- there's a problem if a woman needs validation from anyone other than herself to feel hot.

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