Pin It
Submit to Reddit

Rant Recant 

Suggestions for Michael Richards

"That's what happens when you interrupt a white man ..." -- Michael Richards

Richards, aka Seinfeld's "Kramer," is on the reputation rehabilitation track after shouting racial slurs at a Hollywood comedy club. But, we say forget about Howard Rubenstein, Jesse Jackson or the Rev. Al Sharpton -- penitence calls for a little originality! Here are a few suggestions, offered gratis, that might make Richards' apology more authentic ... or at least more interesting.

1. Appear on Oprah and cry while she scolds you. Call James Frey beforehand for pointers.

2. Apologize to "Afro-Americans" at the Apollo.

3. Kick Mark Fuhrman's ass.

4. Start a consciousness-raising group with Mel Gibson.

5. Send hate mail to Trent Lott.

6. Adopt a Malawi baby -- but make sure the child's parents won't object later.

7. Donate Seinfeld DVDs to anthropologists who can study what a monolithically white NYC might look like.

8. Join Ted Haggard at re-education camp.

9. Convince Dave Chappelle to return to Comedy Central.

10. Just like he "feels" Jewish, he should insist he "feels" black too.

Pin It
Submit to Reddit

Speaking of 5.00000

Tags: ,


Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

Creative Loafing encourages a healthy discussion on its website from all sides of the conversation, but we reserve the right to delete any comments that detract from that. Violence, racism and personal attacks that go beyond the pale will not be tolerated.

Latest in The List

Search Events

Photo Galleries

  • On Saturday, Oct. 21, hundreds gathered at Camp North End on Statesville Avenue for Charlotte's first black alternative music festival. We captured some of the bands in action on stage, but mostly we surveyed the grounds as fans, families, vendors and more lounged around the sprawling, colorful Camp North End site. It was a great day of music, food, fun, and sweet, autumn sunshine. (Photos by Mark Kemp)
» more slideshows
items in Creative Loafing Charlotte More in Creative Loafing Charlotte pool

© 2017 Womack Newspapers, Inc.
Powered by Foundation