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Senior Moments 

Never give up

I'm 64 years young, a musician, chubby, full head of hair, no Viagra needed, no alcohol, I don't mind if you drink, smoker, yes I am. I am also faithful, loyal, and single for five years. No health issues, nada, zero, zilch. Not gay, not prejudiced against gays, pro-woman, Democrat, masculine. Except I only like the younger women and women without tattoos. And I like them feminine. Ladies my age are a shopping bag of issues with children and ex-hubbies. No thank you. So what's my problem? Young women see me as an old gizzard. I am not ugly, and I look younger than 64. But I see what younger women go for. These girls are missing out on me because they would rather be abused, cheated on, and kicked around by some young prince. Be my guest, dear! Another problem is that I don't go to bars or really go out at all, so how the hell am I going to meet a girl? But I long for a girl I can cherish. I'm even willing to marry the right girl if she wishes, no problema. Who cares about age? I sure don't, but they sure do. Of course, I will die first; she can keep the car and everything else for that matter. I can't take it with me. So I have about 24 more years of life and I don't want to wait. Dreaming is free, of course, but I want it right here, right now. Am I asking for too much?

Oblivious Ladies Disregard Elder Romeo

Who cares about age? You, OLDER, you care about age.

You rule out dating women your own age and then toss out two and possibly three stupid rationalizations for not staying in your actuarial lane: Women your age have children, ex-husbands, and tattoos(?). All bullshit. Women your own age might be likelier to have children and ex-husbands, but there are plenty of childless women out there in their 50s and 60s, OLDER, younger women are likelier to have tattoos, and everyone (yourself included) has exes.

And excuse me, but women your own age are a shopping bag of issues? You're a shopping mall's worth of issues yourself, OLDER. Issue number one: You can't be honest, even in an anonymous forum, about why you wanna date younger women — they make your grizzled old dick hard — so you take a dump on all older women. Issue number two: male entitlement syndrome. (The universe doesn't owe you a younger woman, OLDER; the universe doesn't actually owe you shit.)

Unless you're a billionaire or an A-list actor, OLDER, the young woman of your dreams is unlikely to break into your apartment. (There's not a lot of overlap between the young gerontophile community and the burglar community.) Not even the prospect of inheriting a used car 24 years from now is going to land you a young woman. My advice, OLDER: Keep dreaming. And if you want to be with a young woman once in a while, consider renting. But please don't misconstrue anything I've written here as encouragement to date women your own age: They deserve better.

I am a 63-year-old man and I am engaged to a wonderful woman in her 50s and our sex life is great. My libido is off the charts when I am with her, and she is always initiating. She told me she used to enjoy teasing and watching guys online shoot while she played with (and exposed) herself, and she loves to see huge loads. It is a massive turn-on for her. But I'm at an age where I produce hardly anything when I ejaculate. Is there a way to increase my production? Is there some way to increase the volume of my loads by a large amount? We watch porn that has guys shooting seemingly endless streams and she gets crazy horny watching them. I would love to be able to do the same!

Need To Fill The Girl

Hydrate more, NTFTG, and go longer between orgasms (days, weeks), and you might see a moderate increase in volume. But you're never gonna blow loads like you did in your teens and 20s or like guys do in porn. Porn producers, professional and amateur, select for big load blowers, NTFTG, so those samples are skewed. So what you're doing now — enjoying your fiancée while not denying her the pleasure of watching her porn (and then reaping the rewards yourself) — is without a doubt your best course of action.

For questions, email Dan Savage at mail@savagelove.net.

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