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The Blotter: Catching a Ride 

Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files

Fill Her Up A 47-year-old woman fell victim to a patient car thief last week in northwest Charlotte after pumping her gas. The woman told police that she had just finished filling her car up with gas at a Shell gas station on Brookshire Boulevard when a man ran up and hopped into the front seat and drove away. What might be even worse than losing her Nissan Maxima was not knowing what might have been, as she reported a just-purchased, unscratched lottery ticket among the things that were in her car at the time it was stolen, along with her wallet, two laptops, a $100 personal check, her cellphone, a backpack and three folding chairs.

Grapes of Wrath A 35-year-old man called police after coming home to find that someone had broken into his home in west Charlotte's Ashley Park neighborhood. The thief made off with a pretty hefty take, which included three televisions, 240 varying heart medication pills, a bottle of vodka and, just for good measure, a single bag of grapes.

Working Things Out A 38-year-old man was admitted to the hospital last week after receiving a terrifying near-knockout hit in the Mint Hill area. The man told police that the suspect assaulted him by "smashing him in the left side of the face with a dumb bell," causing a laceration above his eye. There's no joke to be made here, just ... holy shit. He was treated and released, and listed as having "severe lacerations," categorized on the report as a "minor injury," which seems like a bit of an oxymoron.

Take This Job and Shove It A 37-year-old woman working at a CATS office in the South End area decided to take extreme measures against the theft happening in her workplace last week. The woman called police and advised officers that someone had stolen the headphones from her desk, and suggested that they obtain surveillance video from inside the building to find out who the culprit was.

Jacked Someone hanging out at Snug Harbor in the Plaza Midwood area last week must have been awful tired, and then went above and beyond the necessary steps to wake himself up. According to a report, the suspect forced open a drink cooler at the bar, doing $200 in damage, then took 15 Red Bull energy drinks and tried to get the hell out of Dodge. He didn't make it far, however, and was quickly arrested.

Tow Creeps It's not just in Hollywood or the political halls of the country where sexism, misogyny and harassment run rampant, those are just the places where it's been making headlines, lately. One east Charlotte woman's experience proved that the above listed problems are just a part of day-to-day life for women, as she wasn't even able to get her car out of a tow company's lot without facing disgusting harassment. The woman reported to police that she called the suspect to get her car back and was quoted a price she thought was high. When she remarked on how high the price was, the man "made an improper offer to discount the price," according to the report.

Antisocial Media Police responded to a west Charlotte home after social media posts came back to bite (or strike) a couple young girls last week. The girls' 36-year-old mother told police that the suspect came to her house to confront her 15- and 11-year-old daughters about posts they had made on social media. The suspect then punched the older daughter in the head before trying to run over the younger daughter, who was standing at the bus stop at the time, on her way out. The suspect also threatened the mother, but never did decide to pick on someone her own size.

Irony Police had to deal with a student at JJ Gunn Elementary School last week after he snuck an airsoft replica of a Smith & Wesson M&P .40-caliber gun to school last week. That's it. That's the joke.

Not For Teacher A 66-year-old teacher filed a police report last week after one of her more ballsy students stole from her when she stepped out of the room for a few minutes. The victim, a teacher at Randolph Middle School, told officers that she went into another classroom to assist a fellow teacher with a conflict and that's when one of her sneaky students decided to take advantage of the distraction. The kid went into the teacher's purse and took out three credit cards and $36 in cash.

We're Twins A 54-year-old man went to police for help after having a misunderstanding with a fellow rider on a church bus recently over who owned a phone he believed was his. The man told officers he forgot his phone on the bus when he got off at one point, and when he got back on it was no longer where he left it. No worries, though, his fellow churchgoer was holding his exact phone. When he asked for it back, the other passenger insisted that it was their phone and they had it all along. The victim said this was impossible, as the phone not only looked like his, but was cracked in the exact same way across the screen. When the finder refused to unlock the phone so the losing party could investigate further, the latter called police.

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