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The Blotter: Landscathing 

Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files

Nevergreen Last week we reported on a man who called police because his neighbor was spreading mulch and got some in his yard, but a woman in northwest Charlotte was a bit more justified in turning to police when her neighbor's landscaping efforts actually did real damage. The 50-year-old woman filed a police report stating that some unknown suspect sprayed some "grass killer" on two large evergreen trees in her yard, completely killing them, leaving us to think, "Holy shit, that's some damn good grass killer!"

Drop Off Police filed a report last week after they received an unsolicited drug delivery while working a crash scene in east Charlotte. An officer stated in the report that he was directing traffic after a wreck on E. W.T. Harris Boulevard when one of the cars driving by tossed a small canvass pouch out the window. Officers picked up the pouch and found that it contained $50 worth of drugs (the report did not say what type of narcotics). Officers weren't sure which car dropped off the stash, so they simply turned it in as found evidence.

Protect the Plate A man in northeast Charlotte called police last week after his drunk girlfriend hit him, and although as a rule we never include domestic violence in The Blotter, after reading this report, an exception was made. The man told officers that his girlfriend was intoxicated and when he said something to her about it, she hit him. According to the report, however, the man suffered no injuries, and told police that he really called them because she knocked a full plate of food out of his hands.

Murder Weapon Employees at a Goodwill on Sardis Road in southeast Charlotte called police to retrieve something that someone donated but they couldn't really use. When officers arrived, the manager handed over a fake gun that was made to be used as a stage prop in plays, but could easily lead to someone getting shot when they shouldn't.

Singles to Mingle Police responded to a break-in on Eastway Drive in east Charlotte after someone broke into a water vending machine and made off with a thick wad of ones. According to the report, the thieves smashed a part of the machines that only takes $1 bills. Nevertheless, they made off with $500 worth of ones. I'm no detective, but if I were, I would be checking the strip clubs right off the bat.

Handball A couple of kids were going at it on the field of a youth soccer game this week, and at one point it got to the point where police had to get involved. A responding officer filed a report stating that an 11-year-old victim was pressing charges for simple assault after another young boy on the field grabbed his genitals and yanked them. The victim did not report any serious injuries, although the pain will remain in his memory for years to come.

Take It A 47-year-old woman filed a police report after she lost some important paperwork in north Charlotte last week. She told police that she was sitting at a bus stop and put down a bag containing her tax paperwork, her last three stubs and two letters from the IRS. When she got onto the bus, she left the papers behind. The woman said she went back but couldn't find the bag, but if she already had the IRS on her back in that way, maybe her best bet is to just let someone else have her identity and disappear off the grid.

Pizza Party Management at a Pizza Hut on Freedom Drive in west Charlotte called police last week after they were forced to make 25 pizzas and drinks just before close without anyone to deliver them to. According to the report, someone called and ordered the large amount of food and gave a credit card number that was later found to be stolen. The store was out $182 worth of food, but on the bright side, the employees were all eating free that night.

If At First You Don't Succeed A 33-year-old construction worker filed a police report last week after his truck was broken into in front of his west Charlotte home. The man told police that the thief first tried to jimmy into a passenger side window, but was unsuccessful. Undeterred, the suspect then tried to break into a trailer in the driveway by damaging the lock, but failed again. Getting desperate, the thief then simply sliced open the liner that was covering the bed of the truck, and hit the jackpot. The thief made off with more than $15,500 worth of construction equipment.

Action Reaction A 48-year-old repo man called police last week after he was assaulted by a deadbeat car owner. The man said the suspect confronted him when he was attempting to tow the car, but when he was told how much he would have to pay to stop the repossession, he flipped out. The suspect picked up a stick from the yard and struck the repo man across the face, forcing him to fall to the ground and injure his knee. Now the suspect still owes the same amount of money on his car but has to face an assault charge, as well.

Bad Memories A 53-year-old woman was so sketched out by a call from someone she once knew that she decided she would turn to police. The woman said she received a phone call to her north Charlotte home at 11 a.m. one morning, and it turned out to be someone she hadn't heard from since 2015. She didn't say that the caller said anything weird, or that she had any sort of restraining order against them, only that they seemed to be calling "for no apparent reason," so she hung up and called police.

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