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Bizzare crime from Charlotte police files

Stop Snitching Police responded to a home in the Fairways at Piper Glen neighborhood in south Charlotte after a man was cleaning his son's room and found something that scared him, then decided to narc on the poor kid. According to the report, the man found 19 hits of acid in his spaced-out son's bedroom and wanted to turn them over to officers. The officers confiscated the acid and filed a non-criminal report, because let's be honest, they'd rather not fight the War on Drugs in Piper Glen.

Cash Grab Officers pulled over a commercial passenger bus on I-85 last week and eventually came across the man that they must have been looking for to pull over a bus full of people and search them. According to the report, a suspect on the bus was found to be carrying $411,340 in two suitcases. The investigation is still pending, but the only thing that's clear at this point is that the guy is some sort of badass.

Swingin' Dick Police responded to a CVS on N. Graham Street last week after a man shoplifted from the store, and witnesses were only able to surmise one description about the man's features. According to the report, a man came into the store and grabbed 15 boxes of Trojan Magnum condoms before fleeing the scene. In all, the take was worth about $300, and a happy lady at home.

Jacked In an unrelated incident to the one described above, another suspect made off with more than $300 worth of merchandise, but his heist was pulled off in a more calm and collected manner. Employees at the Quik Trip on The Plaza in east Charlotte told officers that the suspect came through a side entrance and picked up a case of Monster energy drink and calmly placed it in a waiting vehicle. After realizing how easy that had been, the man went back in the store and stole five more cases, one at a time. In the end, he made off with more than $350 worth of carbonated sugar water.

Working Backwards A 38-year-old Uber driver called police last week after it seemed he wasn't making quite the money he thought he would be when he took the job. The man told police he dropped a man off in Uptown, and the man used the Venmo app to pay him. However, the driver thinks the customer tricked him, because somehow, the $40 went from the driver to the customer instead of vice versa.

Stay In The Living Room A 33-year-old man called police and said he was the victim of an assault in his west Charlotte home last week, but as he told his story, it began to seem that maybe he was not the victim at all, but the aggressor. The man, who lives in a group home with the so-called suspect, told officers that his roommate complained about some noise that he was making, so he kicked in the roommate's door, which is totally what a normal person would do. The "suspect" was ready for him when he kicked down the door, and immediately punched the "victim" in the face. Police asked the "suspect" if he wanted to press charges on the "victim" for kicking in his door, but he didn't.

Thirst Employees at a nightclub on Eastway Drive arrived at work one day last week and found the destruction left by someone who had broken into their business overnight in a desperate struggle to get some beer. Officers responded to the scene and found that the suspect had smashed the glass door in an attempt to get into the building, but that apparently didn't work, because he then went around to the side and broke through a wall, according to the report. He then climbed through the wall and made off with $60 worth of beer.

Proxy If there's one message you don't want to give to a friend to pass along to someone else it's a sext message. A 28-year-old woman filed a police report against a man whom she already had a restraining order out on, who thought he had found a loophole. The woman told officers that the man sent hundreds of unwanted text messages to her family members in an attempt to reach her, with one of the texts being more unwanted than the others. One family member reported that the man sent them a nude photo of himself in the hopes they would show it to her. A real Romeo.

Take It Back It seems if you were to want to intimidate someone and make them fear for their safety, the last thing you'd want to do is arm them, but that's what one suspect did in south Charlotte last week. A 33-year-old woman told police that a known suspect entered her apartment when she wasn't home and left a .32-caliber long revolver in her closet in the hopes — she believed — that she would find it and be frightened. Or she could find it and load it, but you didn't think that far ahead did you?

Going Up Police responded to a call about an incident at SouthPark Towers in south Charlotte last week after someone played a prank that shook up some residents. Management told officers that someone threw a pack of lit fireworks into an elevator that exploded once the door closed, hopefully with no one inside.

Hulk's Angry A 47-year-old woman called police after a man vandalized her property in northwest Charlotte near Mountain Island Lake. The woman told police that the man repeatedly punched her property until it smashed, although police described the property in the report as a "sturdy base for table." Well, which one is it? Did he smash it with his fists or is it a sturdy base?

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