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The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte's police reports

Stiletto To The Face: At a certain Morehead Street bar, a 22-year old Chapel Hill man sustained an injury from an employee of the establishment. But it wasn't a bouncer or bartender that clocked him upside the head. According to the report, "The man received an injury to his tooth while watching a female dance on a pole." Both he and the dancer stated it was an accident and no criminal intent was involved. The fact that he still filed a report must be charity to this Blotter writer.

On Hallow's Eve: A woman reported four inflatable Halloween decorations (a pumpkin, a spider, Frankenstein's Monster and the Grim Reaper) were stolen from her house. Want a scarier Halloween crime? Two chainsaws were stolen from the Escape From Ammityville Haunted House. Scarier still? A man wearing a Scream mask entered a cleaners in Matthews and stated that he had a gun, ordering the employee to the back of the shop. He then emptied the cash register and left.

Malibu stacy Gettin' Freaky: A doll was humiliated when a vandal broke into her home, made her strip and robbed her of her clothes. An unknown suspect broke into a 60-year-old woman's home and the only thing she claims the suspect lifted was $100 worth of doll clothes (a head-band and dark brown fur shawl) from a doll on the shelf of her bedroom closet. Isn't it more plausible that this inanimate floozy was caught mid-tryst with Ken -- notorious manwhore of the doll kingdom?

The New Yorkers: After threatening to slit a suspect's throat, a man added for good measure: "I know people from New York that can do harm to you."

Stop Pawning My Stuff: A woman wanted to turn in a family member after finding pawn slips in her house and realizing the suspect had pawned her stuff. A George Foreman Grill, valued at $130, was taken and re-sold. Valued at $130? Did it come with a heavyweight title belt?

Threat Of The Week: A woman has received 75 phone calls from a fellow. The charming lad advised: "I'll whip your ass. My brother and I knocked my father's teeth out, and I'll do the same to you."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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