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The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte's police reports

Lesson Not Learned: A Black Jetta was pelted with 10 to 12 eggs. And not only did the eggs cause a gooey mess, but the velocity at which they were thrown produced spider-web cracks in the car's paint. The Jetta's owner reported that every time he parks the car in the street, it is attacked with eggs. The owner said that he parks in that spot quite often. Why?

Porn Heist: A video surveillance tape caught a suspect trying to break into a porn store. The suspect pulled on the front door, then attempted to kick out the glass in the front window. He ran away porn-less.

Check Mate: A woman witnessed her neighbor's child plant monkey grass in her yard. The incident, she was told by police, couldn't be considered criminal because of the young age of the horticulturist. Still, the woman wanted the non-crime documented because she has a history with her neighbors and suspects the child is an unwitting pawn in their war.

Fresh Prince: A man was taking out the trash by his church when he heard a semi-automatic weapon being racked, followed by commands to stop and surrender all his money. The mugger took the keys to the man's Cadillac and told him to get in the trunk because he was being uncooperative. The man asked if that was really necessary since he had already given up his wallet and keys and the reasonable mugger obliged him, saying he could ride in the front. The mugger dropped the man off a mile from where he was abducted and told him not to walk too far. One more thing, the man asked his gun-toting kidnapper. Would it be too much trouble to get his wallet back? There was nothing of value to the robber anyway. Again, the thief obliged, but unfortunately he couldn't hand over the actual wallet because his fingerprints were on it. The victim told the police afterwards that his abducter bore an uncanny resemblance to the actor/singer Will Smith.

Threat Of The Week: Dr. Seuss is back, but this time he's switched from children's stories to the art of making threats. An early morning e-mailer sent the following threat at 6 a.m.: "I will kill him or them, then you." The e-mailer added, "and then I will kill myself."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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