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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police reports

WHEN YOU WANT TO STEAL ... : A woman told police that she loaned her 2000 Dodge Neon to a man on the condition that he return it within an hour. More than eight hours later, he was nowhere to be found.

AT LEAST HE GAVE NOTICE: A man told a woman that he planned to kill her "later tonight." She called police.

DAMAGED GOODS: A man walked out of Wal-Mart without paying for two DVDs, Borat and Paul Wall Live. The report isn't clear why, but the discount retailer won't be reselling these items: "The product was returned but marked unusable due to damage sustained during incident."

BLOCKED: Sunday afternoons are made for family. Or sleeping in. Or throwing concrete blocks through people's windows. A man told police that someone threw such a projectile through the front window of his apartment.

CRACKED UP: A fifty-something year-old woman arrived home to find her boyfriend smoking a little crack. She asked him to leave because drugs aren't allowed in her apartment. He grabbed her by the neck, but she was able to get free, leave the residence and call 911.

NOTHING WARMS A HEART LIKE ...: ... the loving words of a stalker. A woman told police that a man was really upset she broke up with him -- after they'd dated a month. He'd called her at least 300 times, and on one call he told her, "I'm gonna have some guys fuck you up. If I can't have, nobody else can have you."

ASK FOR DIRECTIONS, ALREADY!: A married couple began arguing in their car after they missed a turn and got lost. So, of course, he tried to push her out of the car.

THIS WEEK'S DUMB CRIMINAL: Someone drove off from a gas station without paying a $52.02 gasoline bill. Unfortunately for him, he left a check and a credit card at the scene. Doh!

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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