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The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police reports

HELPING HAND: After one man hit another man in the back of the head, they started fighting. A third man then grabbed the head-injured man's leg, and he asked if the third man was trying to break up the fight or if he was trying to fight. In response, the third man said, "I will beat your ass!" Guess he got his answer.

NEEDED MORE NUTS: Police were called to a convenience store after someone stole four bags of Lance peanuts, valued at $1.

911 IS A JOKE: A grocery store employee called 911 to report that a man was attempting to steal artichoke hearts and three doughnuts by putting them down his pants.

WATCH THOSE AZALEAS: A woman told police that plants valued at $75 were stolen from her yard overnight. Across town, another woman reported $15 in potted plants were taken from her front porch. She told police a similar crime had been "escalating" recently.

ANOTHER GOLDILOCKS: A man working on a house noticed it had been broken into. The responding officers found someone sleeping inside the house without permission.

SIMPLY ASSAULT: A man called police to file a report. The egregious crime? Someone had grabbed his arm.

SPARE CHANGE: A woman told police she believes someone stole about $500 in change that had been in a large bottle in her bedroom.

THREAT OF THE WEEK: A fast food employee told police that he had been threatened outside his house by someone who said, "I'm going to fuck you up if you keep messing with the nighttime manager."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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