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The Blotter 

* Some of the more interesting thefts of the week: A 30-day license tag off a 73-year-old's Oldsmobile; 10 shrubs from someone's front lawn; $4.49 worth of baby nipples (and she was caught); and a set of keys that were in the ignition of the running car, which was left to warm up in the driveway.

* Cheap-ass Victim: A man wearing $1000 worth of clothing was robbed of the measly $30 he had in his pocket. When the three thieves discovered this was all the cash he had on him, they stole his clothes as well.

* Manson Escapes: Someone snuck into a man's house, entered his room and moved his stuff about, but did not take anything in an attempt to scare him. There was no evidence of forced entry into his room.

* Someone drove through a woman's front yard for the eighth time in two years. The woman stated that she keeps children with special needs in her home and is worried for their safety; the grass can suffer, for all she cares.

* In another woman's front yard, a mailbox was "smashed" and trash was spread all over the lawn.

* A man was just passing by when he noticed someone pouring sugar into someone else's gas tank. When he pointed out to the man that doing this might damage the car, the suspect threw the sugar in his face and ran off. The suspect was charged with damage to property and assault.

* A young man was coming to apologize to a woman's daughter for an earlier altercation when the mother called the police, accusing him of trespassing.

* A person was caught stealing bras and panties from a well-known but "secret" underwear store. The reporting person says that the suspect was "uncooperative and messed up on some type of drug" at the time of the arrest. The reporting person, an off-duty cop, also took the time to search the suspect, finding a small amount of marijuana (and some clothing that had been shoplifted from the store down the street). When the marijuana was found, the suspect made a very feeble attempt to escape, cleverly disguised as a trip to the bathroom.

* A man called a woman at work and left a message on her voice mail (known as "voice male" in the police report), saying, "keep carving the turkey, you bitch, keep carving the turkey."

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