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HYPOCRITES SET THE BEST EXAMPLES: A sleepover held by two young girls went downhill one evening when they began to argue. After hearing about it, the girls' mothers decided to take action and teach their daughters the proper way to settle a dispute. This, however, also went downhill as the two mothers assaulted each other after words were exchanged over how to discipline the children.

NEIGHBORHOOD IMPROVEMENT: A man looked out onto his front lawn one morning to discover that someone had spray-painted, in bright pink paint, "MOW ME" on his grass. The man told police that no one had permission to spray paint his front yard, and that the grass really wasn't that tall in the first place.

HOT NOW: A man riding in the back of a pickup truck on I-77 (isn't that illegal?) was surprised and slightly injured when someone in the passenger seat of a passing car leaned out the window and threw a Krispy Kreme "dozen box" at the man, hitting him in the face and shoulder and scratching his chin. No word on whether there were any doughnuts left in the box.

THREE IN A ROW: Two separate incidents this past month have left two car owners puzzled. Both of the men's cars were vandalized, but not in any typical way. There were no racial slurs, no grotesque pictures of body parts, and no threats left on the cars. Instead, the vandals decided to play a game of tic-tac-toe by using a sharp object. Police did not reveal whether the X or the O won.

THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK: An irate man kicked open his friend's front door, breaking it off its hinges and splintering the jamb. He demanded that his friend give him back a shirt he had borrowed and not yet returned. After this request was denied, the fashion-savvy thug fled the scene.

DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS: Ignoring everything his parents and Sesame Street had taught him, one brave man decided to pick up two hitchhikers on the street one evening. He asked their destination and began to drive away. To thank this good samaritan for his kind deed, the hitchhikers assaulted and robbed the man of his belongings.

INFANT ACCOMPLICE: A woman tried to steal some shirts and pants from a department store by stowing them in the stroller she was pushing. And yes, her baby was in the stroller. Security guards may have been tipped off by the baby cooing "Hilfiger."

WHITE COLLAR GANGSTA: His interview went off without a hitch. He was hired on the spot. He was given an assignment his very first day. All he had to do was deliver paperwork containing the personal information of 50 clients to an office. He never returned. He was eventually found. He was fired. He returned only a handful of the important paperwork. He went to jail.

CLEAN THAT THING OUT!: A woman accidentally left her credit card behind when she paid for gas. When she noticed it was missing, she rushed back to the store only to find that it wasn't there, so she called police to report it as stolen. The following day she called police again to inform them that her credit card had been hiding in her purse the whole time.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL!: A call was made to police concerning a theft at a local church. The caller stated that an unknown person stole the church's riding lawnmower. This thief obviously never checked the Commandment list before his little adventure.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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