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The Blotter 

Pocket Cake: A grocery store owner reported that a young man walked into his store, grabbed a piece of cake valued at $1.19, stuffed it into his pocket, then ran outside to an awaiting car. Let's repeat that: a grocery store owner thought it was worth taking up policemen's time for a piece of cake valued at $1.19.

The Art vs. Vandalism Controversy Rages: A male juvenile was arrested for damage to property after he admitted to spray painting various gang names and symbols along a public street and on someone's driveway.

Potheads: A local high school student was caught skipping class and smoking a joint in the boy's bathroom. It was his second offense this school year. In another incident, cops discovered a roach and a small bag of marijuana in a man's car after they pulled him over for speeding. Dudes, if you're going to fire up, stay home and do it in your parents' basement like you're supposed to.

Basketbrawl: A friendly game of basketball turned ugly at a public park when an altercation broke out between two players. It was reported that one b-baller suffered a chipped tooth during the melee.

Driving While Stupid: A man was arrested after he drove his car though someone's backyard, and got stuck in a ditch. This brain-dead loser fled the scene, leaving his car behind. When the homeowner called police, they promptly tracked the driver down by his car's license plate. Duh.

The Case of the Smoking Thug: A woman was accosted by a knife-wielding punk in the parking lot of her apartment complex while she was taking out the garbage. When the woman informed the robber she didn't have any money, he grabbed a pack of cigarettes she was holding and fled the scene.

Threats of the Week: A woman received the following threats from a duo of badasses who came to her home: "If you open your mouth or tell anything I will kill you," followed by "I'll kill you bitch, you better not tell anyone a damn thing." In a separate incident, a woman was on the receiving end of the following threats, which were delivered by two women standing outside her apartment: Threatener 1: "Bitch, come outside, I'm gonna whip your motherfucking ass. Come outside and give me my baby." The second dainty lass followed that with the similar threat: "Bitch, come outside, I'm going to fuck you up."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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