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The Trump Talk 

Saving daughter from predators

Waiting to pay for my groceries at the market this evening, this guy, stinking of booze, says to my 9-year-old daughter, "Sweetheart, can you put the divider thing there for me?" First, why is some leering grown man calling my child "sweetheart"? He then thumps two huge bottles of vodka down on the belt. I move closer to my daughter; he then reaches his hand over me and wraps his hand around her arm, saying, "Now, you be nice to your Mommy, sweetie." I pluck his hand off. "Do not touch my child," I say. My other hand is pressed against my daughter's ribs, and I can feel her heart pounding. "You have a beautiful daughter," he says. The cashier, whom we know, a guy, looks at me, eyebrows up. I roll my eyes. So pissed. We leave. "I hated that man," my daughter says once we get in the car. "He smelled bad, I wanted to hit him, if anyone ever does that to me again I'm going to scream." Here we effing go: "Sometimes you have to be hypervigilant," I tell my daughter, "because some gross men out there feel they are entitled to touch us." And then I share my story: "When I was a little girl..." I don't even remember the first time it happened to me. I don't remember the last time some pervert rubbed up against me. But that's what you have to deal with when you are a girl. We have to learn to brush this shit off, to make sure that this endless assault course of predators doesn't take one bit of your pride, your confidence, or your sense of peace as you walk through this world. I am so angry. We should call this the "Trump Talk." The depressing conversation that every parent needs to have with their little girl about revolting, predatory, entitled men.

Mother And Daughter Discuss Enraging Realities

I'm sorry about what happened to your daughter at the grocery store, but I'm glad you were there with her when it happened.

A lot of women I know, including some very close friends, were your daughter's age the first time it happened to them, MADDER, but they were alone. Tragically, many assumed that they had done something wrong, that they had invited this on themselves somehow, and most didn't go to their parents for fear of getting into trouble. And when it inevitably happened again, some became convinced they were indeed to blame, because they thought it wasn't happening to anyone else, just them.

So thank God you were there. Every little girl should be so lucky as to have a trusted adult standing by ready to intervene when it does happen. I only wish the grocery store clerk had intervened, too.

Because your suggestion — that parents call the conversation they need to have with their daughters about predatory and entitled men the "Trump Talk." Here's hoping "Trump Talk" isn't just widely adopted, but universally practiced. Because no little girl who gets groped on a bus or in a grocery store or on a subway or in a classroom should ever have to wonder if she did something wrong.

Big fan, longtime reader and listener, and I need your help. How in the hell can a bipartisan relationship survive this election? Things have gotten so heated that my husband and I recently exploded in an ugly argument. I know I'm not fighting fair — calling him stupid and irresponsible for supporting Trump — and I'm being a shitty partner, and he's being shitty in response by spouting Clinton conspiracy theories. A huge part of it is that he's someone who lives to disagree — a true contrarian — and our current political environment has been like manna from heaven for his sense of humor. What advice do you have? We've been together for ages and have survived other elections and issues. But, as you know, this one's different.

Struggling After Debate

Unlike your husband, SAD, I don't think there's anything funny about Donald Trump. I'm going to enjoy watching him lose the election. I wouldn't be able to climb into bed with someone who was planning to vote for Donald Trump. But if you can't leave because you love him despite his moral and political bankruptcy, or because leaving isn't an option for you financially, avoid the subject and try not to gloat when Hillary hands Donald his ass on Nov. 8.

To write to Dan Savage, email him at mail@savagelove.net.

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