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These days, anything goes for heteros 

My roommate and best friend is a good-looking, professional young man with a conservative sensibility and traditional values. Recently, one of his married co-workers (an attractive, bright, and sexy young lady in his appropriate age group) has been pursuing him to have an affair. I've met her personally, and she's a very cool girl. She is currently in the process of legally separating from her husband (her only sexual partner), who over the last year or so has completely cut her off sexually.

My roommate is a good guy and wants no part of a sexual relationship with her while she's married. Even if she does separate, he is worried about being a rebound and simply not wanting to deal with the emotional baggage that comes with being her first sexual experience outside of her current husband. I've told him to wait until she's separated, but then to go for it. He's my best friend, and I don't want to see him hurt.

Dude In Seattle

Let me see if I follow you: If this woman were unmarried and unattached, DIS, your friend with the "traditional values" wouldn't have any problem fucking her? A point of order: When did premarital sex become a "traditional value"?

Frankly, DIS, I don't care if your buddy fucks this woman or not. (I think he should; lots of rebounds turn into wonderful and lasting relationships, lots of solid marriages had squalid beginnings.) I'm just curious how we got to the point where anything goes -- premarital sex, oral and anal sodomy, multiple marriages (hey there, Karl Rove!) -- for heterosexuals and nothing is a violation of "traditional values" so long as the fornicators are straight. How did we get to the point where an unmarried straight man with shit on his dick and three different women's pubes in his mouth can claim to have a "conservative sensibility and traditional values"?

How'd that happen?

As for your friend, DIS, I've known a few guys who went on and on about how attracted they were to a particular woman and how much they wanted to fuck her in all of her orifices and eat her pussy until she came so hard she basically turned inside out but just couldn't bring themselves to have hot, premarital, heterosexual sex because some technicality or other violated their traditional values. All of those guys eventually came out of the closet. Just sayin'.

CONFIDENTIAL TO SAVAGE LOVERS: I need to ask you to do something. Not for me, but for a teenage lesbian who lives in a small town. Constance McMillen is a senior at Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Miss. When she asked the school if she could attend prom with her girlfriend, she was told no. When Constance pressed her case, the Itawamba County School Board canceled prom rather than allow Constance to attend with her girlfriend. The school board had to know what would happen next: The other students at Itawamba Agricultural blamed Constance for getting prom canceled and "ruining senior year." Constance is now being harassed and bullied.

The school board claims it canceled prom to avoid "distractions." Now it's up to us -- to decent people everywhere -- to make sure that bigotry and discrimination are a much bigger distraction for the Itawamba County School District than inclusion and tolerance ever could've been.

E-mail, call, and fax Itawamba Schools superintendent Teresa McNeece (, phone 662-862-2159 ext. 14, fax 662-862-4713) and Itawamba Agricultural principal Trae Wiygul (, 662-862-3104). Then join the Facebook page "Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom." And, finally, make donations to the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition (, which is organizing an alternate prom that will welcome all students, and make a larger donation to the ACLU LGBT Project (, which is defending Constance and other gay teenagers across the country.

Call, write, fax, donate. Constance needs to know that there are people all over the world who are on her side. And, more importantly, Itawamba County Schools needs to know that we're not going to let them get away with this. Be respectful, but be relentless. Let's show these bigots what a real distraction looks like. Get 'em.

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