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To serve and to protect 

Condoms are always a good idea

My sexy GGG husband and I fuck a "good friend" semiregularly. He's hot, young, and game to fuck about every other week. We started out wearing condoms, but we've had the safe-sex conversation and our good friend isn't banging anyone else, so we've moved to condom-free sex. A month ago, we had a hot threesome. Our good friend fucked me, but came on my tits. My husband fucked me, too — that night, the day before, the day after. Now I find out that I'm pregnant. I'm 99 percent sure that it's my husband's, but a tiny part of me worries it could be our good friend's child. What are the chances that it's my sexy friend's child and not my husband's? Without our good friend coming inside me? And with all the semen left in me by my husband? Could our "other" sex partner's pre-come get me pregnant? Please tell me it's probably my husband's! I'm freaking out!

Pregnant In Threesome

It's probably your husband's, PIT, but ...

Pre-come can contain "live, viable, pregnancy-inducing sperm," says Dr. Joel Maurer, assistant professor in OB/GYN and dean of admissions for the Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. "Most [studies have found] that it contains very little, if any, sperm," says Dr. Maurer, but the possible presence of those live, viable, pregnancy-inducing sperm cells means it could be your good friend's child, not your husband's.

It's also why many — including Dr. Maurer — regard "pulling out" as an ineffective birth-control method.

"For every 100 women who use withdrawal correctly, four will become pregnant every year — this number jumps to 27 if not used correctly," says Dr. Maurer. (For every 100 women who use condoms correctly, two will become pregnant, 18 if they're using condoms incorrectly, which is why some argue that withdrawal is nearly as effective as condoms.)

Backing up: Pre-come is produced by the Cowper's gland and some other gland whose name I can never remember, PIT, while sperm cells are produced in the nuts. Sperm doesn't get mixed up in the seminal fluid — produced by the prostate and a couple of other glands whose names escape me — until the guy starts to ejaculate. So if your good friend didn't have an orgasm shortly before he fucked you and he didn't come inside you and there were no stray swimmers in his pre-come for some other reason, odds are slim that the baby is his. It's possible, PIT, but nowhere near probable.

"A paternity test after delivery of the child is the safest advice I can give should it remain an important issue to her and her husband," says Dr. Maurer. "An amniocentesis can make this 'diagnosis' before delivery, but the procedure comes with a small risk of pregnancy loss. As such, most doctors would consider it unethical to perform amniocentesis for the sole purpose of paternity testing without a coexisting medical reason."

To all the other nonmonogamous straight couples out there: Not using condoms with your other is fucking stupid. Using condoms with others is important not just to prevent disease but, if your other is a dude, to prevent paternity scares like the one PIT is having. And you should be using condoms with your other, male or female, regardless of safe-sex conversations or assurances that your other isn't banging anyone else. Unless your other lives in a cage in your basement — very hot, not very practical — you have no way of knowing for sure that your other doesn't have other others.

I have two things to ask/say:

1. Could you remind people that if they're going to cheat on their partner, to use protection?

2. Could you give me advice on getting over my ex-girlfriend? She ended things pretty terribly (see question 1), yet I'm still having a hard time letting go.

Broken Up

1. People, if you're going to cheat on your partner, please use protection. It's quite literally the least you can do.

2. Fuck other people — lots of other people. But if you were the one who dumped her, with cause, after she cheated, and she wants to get back together, well, sometimes forgiving someone for cheating is easier than getting over them. Only you know if this is one of those times.

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