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Why do people have to be rude? 

This is a question I pondered after attending the grand opening of Kashmir and Fiji last weekend.

I was walking through Kashmir, and as is the case in most crowded clubs, there was someone in my way. So, I pressed the brakes on my legs and waited like a car at a four-way stop sign for the person impeding my traffic to make his way through the human congestion. But the girl behind me apparently had road rage and didn't want to brake, which she let me know by pushing me in the back. And that's when it occurred to me ... I always seem to encounter assholes on the nightlife scene.

But why? Do we shed our manners along with our inhibitions when we're drinking? I don't get it. There is just no benefit to disregarding others, and there is no excuse for snobbery on the social scene.

Since manners seem to have been lost in translation somewhere, I have formulated a list of rules for basic social skills.

Rule #1: Say, "Excuse me" when you step on or bump into someone while invading his or her personal space, or even a "Sorry" will suffice. While out at a bar, some girl slammed into me like a linebacker. Not even acknowledging the fact she tackled me, I took it upon myself to instill manners in her. "Excuse you," I said (softly) as I stood back up.

Well, apparently the only thing that instilled in her was more anger because she took it as an invitation to elbow me in the face. She caught me square in the mouth, causing my lip to bleed profusely. Lesson learned. My fight-or-flight reflex told me to tell her not to take her low self-esteem issues out on me -- and then flee. Because after all, rudeness is a symptom of insecurity and weakness, but hiding behind a bad attitude does not make you powerful ... it just makes you an asshole.

This brings me to Rule #2: No throwing 'bows, or instigating a verbal or physical fight of any sort -- especially not with "bouncer the grouch" who is on his own power trip.

Rule #3: Don't hate; congregate.

And for the final rule: If you're in a bad mood and drinking is going to poison your conscience in addition to your body ... stay home.

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