If you've followed my column since the beginning, it's no news to you that I'm not afraid of strip clubs when it comes to having a good time. At one point, I was heading to Cameo, formerly known as Daisy Dukes, after work every single day as if it was my after-school program. Like clockwork, I'd show up and order a tall Jägerbomb and some chicken wings before I could even think about heading home to call it a night.
Meanwhile, the dancers were like beautiful, interactive artwork. It's not that I didn't want to "throw some ones," I was (and still am) a broke millennial who can't imagine the consequences of getting drunk and throwing an entire paycheck at a stage filled with beautiful women. More power to those that can afford it. Nevertheless, a couple weeks ago, I ended up sitting at a table in front of beautiful dancers dressed in Panthers colors on a Sunday around 7 p.m.
The last time I'd walked into Uptown Cabaret on Morehead Street, I'd came for one reason and one reason only. You're probably thinking it was because I wanted to enjoy looking at a few beautiful women, but nope. When people say they're going to Uptown Cabaret for "tits and grits," Aerin was only going for the grits. Instead of waiting for an hour or so for late night breakfast at Midnight Diner, you can enjoy an amazing breakfast buffet with wonderful scenery at Uptown Cabaret.
There were a couple times where my P.I.C. and I stumbled into Uptown Cabaret, sat down at a table, not caring who we were sitting with or how many dancers were around. I'd look up and see her scarfing eggs and bacon, sometimes with her hands, without ever seeming to take a breath.
However, it has been years since we'd made one of those late-night trips, and that's why I couldn't believe it when I found myself actually heading to Uptown Cabaret on a recent Sunday, of all days, after so much time had passed. But there I was, hopping in an Uber trying to twerk as calmly as possible to Cardi B's verse in "No Limit." My girlfriend who joined in on the random festivities was the main proponent in the car backing me up in my ratchetness, cosigning every lyric. Little did our counterparts know, the same song would be on as soon as we walked inside.
To my dismay, there was no breakfast buffet to be had — this is still a thing, right?! Womp, womp, womp. It was only 7 p.m. though, I could still get food somewhere when this was over. On the bright side, we didn't have to pay anything to get in. The bar was calling us for a cocktail before we walked to a sitting area that could accommodate our entire party. For the first time, I was actually looking at my surroundings inside the club.
I wasn't shocked by the beautiful and voluptuous women or the amount of women dressed in Panthers' colors. What did shock me, however, was the fact that patrons were still trying to watch football while the dancers were taking turns on the pole! It's not enough to consume the fantasy that is a beautiful woman that "can't truly be had," now, it's okay to check in on your fantasy football league while said woman is right in front of our face. I couldn't decide if I was amused in a positive or negative way but I decided to just revel in a moment that had me feeling nostalgic for my past life.
I glanced over at my squeeze wondering what he was thinking. I wasn't worried about him being too into the scene, unlike people I'd dated before, I was more interested in seeing how we'd interact. And to my surprise, I felt completely comfortable with us both having a really good time.
And my girlfriend? She was quiet, but she, too, seemed content with our adventure. One of the squeeze's friends was anticipating the right moment to turn up and throw some ones. And another was enthralled with the other girl in our group who was living her best life, who after gaining a second wind, was bouncing around all over the place and throwing ones of her own with a huge smile on her face — that's what I call a bucket of fun.
While I needed to unwind after so much excitement by switching up my venue, I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun I had at Uptown Cabaret on a game day. Put it on your to-do list now that the Panthers have secured their spot in the playoffs!
Every year around this time, we rush to figure out what we want to do for New Year's Eve. Usually the choice is between living large out on the town or staying indoors — preferably at a house party.
No matter what you choose to do, remember to drink responsibly (if you drink at all). It's OK to go into 2018 with a hangover, just don't go into it with a record. (It's also OK to go into the new year completely sober.)
As always, CL has put together a list of some of the New Year's Eve parties going down in the Charlotte area. Scan these options for an event that appeals to you — whether it's the usual drinking-intensive activities or something a little different.
CLT New Year's Eve: Center City Partners always hosts a lit New Year's Eve, meaning they light up the crown before setting off a shit-ton of fireworks beginning at midnight. Before that, expect live music from Sol Fusion and food vendors and trucks. Pro tip: tuck away a flask, keep yourself warm. Free. All ages. Romare Bearden Park, 300 S. Church St. charlottecentercity.org
Coyote Bash: Two-step into the new year at Charlotte's favorite country nightclub. Besides the typical champagne toast, they'll be handing out $1,200 in cash and prizes throughout the night, and the Coyote Joe's house band Out of the Blue goes on at 9 p.m. $12. 18 years old and up. 7 p.m.-2 a.m. Coyote Joe's, 4621 Wilkinson Blvd. coyote-joes.com
Upscale New Year's Eve Bash: Upscale Entertainment hosts a party for the grown folks at Morehead Tavern, and you better dress to impress or you're not getting in. Bump into 2018 with music from Ken "DJ Khaos" Padgett. $20. 30 years old and up. 10 p.m. Morehead Tavern, 300 E. Morehead St. moreheadtavern.com
New Year's Eve at Essex: You might balk at $75-per-person-plus-gratuity, but there's an open bar — yes, all you can drink. Just try to be responsible, you don't want to start the new year with regrets. Also, a world cuisine buffet, live DJ and champagne toast. $92.25. 10:30 p.m.-2 a.m. Essex Bistro, 101 S. Tryon St., Suite 14. essexnc.com
New Year's on the Rooftop: Just the name of this one makes us want to run inside to the warmth, but have no fear, the space at Rooftop 210 will be covered and heated. All-inclusive tickets included access to the appetizer buffet, drinks and the photo booth (You still have to pay for the Red Bull), and maybe that's why they're already sold out. However, there are still tables for eight available for around $1,000. $1,045 for a table. Single tickets sold out. 9 p.m.-1:30 a.m. Rooftop 210, 210 E. Trade St. tinyurl.com/Rooftop2018
Catawba Brewing Bash: You won't be blackout drunk on vodka Red Bulls before midnight if you just kick it at the brewery with some of the 20 unique beers on tap in this Belmont brewery, and pair them up with some of the great food being catered by Fresh Med. DJ Bryson Rider will be on hand, and don't forget the champagne toast at midnight (like literally, you will remember it this year). Free. 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Catawba Brewing Co. 933 Louise Ave., Suite 105. catawbabrewing.com
The Chef's Celebration: Have one last great meal before 2018 at Georges Brasserie, where they're serving up a four-course chef's tasting dinner during three different seatings starting at 5:30 p.m. The price goes up as the seatings get later, but maybe that's because the live music from City Lights Band doesn't start until 8 p.m. and only the latest seating gets a champagne toast. $55-$75. 5:30 p.m.-Midnight. Georges Brasserie, 4620 Piedmont Row Dr., Suite 110. georgesbrasserie.com
Wine Loft New Year's: Wine don't dine yourself into 2018 at The Wine Loft in South End, although there's much more than that. A $50 ticket includes an open bar, midnight toast, party favors and midnight snacks. $50. 8 p.m. The Wine Loft at South End, 2201 South Blvd.
Ikhor's Annual Bollywood New Year Party: Looking to ring in the new year with a brimful of Asha — the famous Bollywood singer Asha Bhosle, that is? She won't be there, but the snaky sounds of Bollywood music will be, as will be unlimited drinks, an Indian buffet, complimentary masks, party favors, and a live on-screen countdown. $20 (kids) to $169 (family package). 11 p.m. Oasis Shriners, 604 Doug Mayes Pl. tinyurl.com/NYEbollywood
Fiesta Grande: Bring in the new year Mexican(ish)-style at Vida Vida, where a DJ will be spinning la música fantástica and you'll be able to nosh on a nacho buffet. At midnight, you get the requisite countdown and Champagne toast. Pura vida vida, folks! $60. 9 p.m.-midnight. Vida Vida, EpiCentre, 210 E Trade St. thevidavida.com
Carnivale: SouthEnd Station's New Year's Eve party boasts four DJs and live music by the band Pluto for Planet — all packed inside in a massive heated tent. There will be party favors, a food truck, photo booth, champagne toast and more. VIP packages available. $80 and up. 9 p.m. Slate Billiards, 200 East Bland St., eventbrite.com/e/new-years-eve-carnivale
Sparkle & Glow New Year's Eve: Let's say drinking, puking and hangovers aren't your thing. Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden's got you covered. Enjoy a quiet New Year's Eve with magical lights, live music and a hula-hoop performance. Dorky? Sure. But fun? Absolutely. And if you insist on partying, you'll still have plenty of time to get back home and doll yourself up for the wee hours. $7.95-$12.95. 5-9 p.m. Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden, 6500 S. New Hope Rd, Belmont. tinyurl.com/DSsparkle
New Years Coin Jam: Let's say you're just too nerdy for those swanky Uptown soirees or uber-cool parties in Plaza Midwood. Abari's got you covered. Spend a night shoving coins in pinball machines and other games and listening to a DJ glide you into the new year with literally lots of bells and whistles. Free (plus however many coins you jam). 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Abari Game Bar, 1721 N Davidson St.
The Wild West Barbecue Mystery Dinner Show: This family-friendly mystery dinner theater show is billed as a rip roarin', foot stompin', hog wallerin' time and that's good enough for us. Apparently the scenario involves the Stankin Horse County Fair and annual Pick-of-the-Pig Prize Pig Judgin' Contest. We assume that mayhem ensues, and that the audience must solve a mystery as they tuck into a hearty repast of low country barbeque. $7 and up. 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. NarroWay Theatre, 3327 SC-51, Fort Mill, S.C. narroway.net
New Year's Noir — A Dark Formal Ball: Come to think of it, Bela Lugosi always wore a fancy formal suit in all those Universal Dracula movies. Though we're past the solstice, and the light has started to return with longer days, we're still in the dark of the year. Get into your goth attire and elebrate the darkness with DJ Spider and DJ Price. $12. 9 p.m The Milestone Club, 3400 Tuckaseegee Rd. themilestone.club
Restorative Deep Stretch featuring Handpan and Native Flute Music: Usher in the new year with love, intention and healing at this event hosted by Wendy Swanson and Greg LaBarbera. Relax and deeply renew yourself with long, supported holds while allowing your senses to be bathed by the meditative sounds of a handpan and flute. Cosmic, baby! $20-25. 6-7:30 p.m. BeYoga Carmel Road, 7510 Pineville-Matthews Rd. clients.mindbodyonline.com
Countdown with the Bands: Rock on and ring in the new year with some of Charlotte's coolest alt-rock acts: Party Battleship, which kicks out an idiosyncratic mix of punk, power pop and new wave, has the most appropriate name for a New Year's Eve bash. Radio Lola plays a blend of blusy Americana and sensual soul. The Menders specialize in gritty garage folk 'n' roll. And despite their name, The Penitentials are not fixated on the sacrament of penance. Free. 8:30 p.m. Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E 36th St., neighborhoodtheatre.com
New Year's Eve at Petra's: No bells and whistles here, just a nice neighborhood party in Plaza Midwood featuring DJs, good friends and plenty of booze. Free, 9 p.m. 1919 Commonwealth Ave. petrasbar.com
New Years Eve Bash + Brain Bucket Bock Beer Release: Raise a glass and toast the new year with a glass of small-batch Brain Bucket Bock. The first 60 people to buy a pint at Blue Blazes New Year's Eve Bash get a free Twilight Smokehouse ticket for NC-style BBQ. Free. Noon-7 p.m. Blue Blazes Brewing, 528 S. Turner Ave. facebook.com/events/903332236508549
Cocktails and Confetti: This swanky NYE bash is presented by Sportslink and features hors d'oeurves stations, the obligatory champagne toast at midnight, cocktails, music and ripped up little bits of paper! VIP packages available. $100 and up. 9:30 p.m. Ink and Ivey, 222 South Church St. nyepartycharlotte.com
New Years Eve 2018 at Topgolf: If you just can't get enough golf, this is the New Year's Eve party for you, although it ain't cheap. Topgolf rings in 2018 with everything bedecked in gold — gold balls, gold driving ranges, gold mashie-niblicks! OK, we made up that last one, but this will be a cool party at Topgolf's restaurant, bar and high-tech, arcade-game-style driving range. There will be live entertainment and a special menu, too. $225 and up. 9 p.m., 8024 Savoy Corporate Dr. topgolf.com/NYE
CLT New Year's Eve (formerly First Night Charlotte): The mama of all CLT New Year's Eve bashes, this one is a decades-long tradition. Never done it before? Well, then, come on out to Romare Bearden Park in Uptown and sway along with the Sol Fusion Band, other singers and dancers, DJs, circus performers — the works. Bring the family, eat food from local vendors, watch the lighting of the Queen City crown and marvel at the fireworks at midnight Free. 9 p.m.-midnight. Romare Bearden Park. 300 S. Church St.
In last week's column, I talked about my first trip to Hoppin', the first self-pour beer hall located in the Gold District of South End. On the first Wednesday following their grand opening, it was lit! After one great first new impression in the Q.C., I didn't want to end the night's adventure. The night was young!
My friend and I were both hungry so we decided to grab some Thai food at Deejai Noda Noodle Bar. As a NoDa resident, my friend had been asking me to try out another spot next door called Crown Station Coffee House & Pub for some time. So why not kill two birds with one stone? We snagged an Uber and headed straight for North Davidson Street.
I wasn't quite sure where this Thai place would be located as I haven't ventured to the backside of the neighborhood in a while, so I was all the more surprised to see the massive bridge built for the the light rail right across from the Renaissance Townhomes. A recent CATS report hinted that the new light rail going from Uptown through NoDa to University could be open as soon as February, so I expect I'll be seeing plenty more of this area very soon.
As it turns out, NoDa Street Market, the building Deejai Noda and Crown Station are in, just opened up this past summer. Deejai the first to open, followed by Crown Station in September. With Bold Missy Brewery opening around the same time across the street, the area has become a happening little spot.
We ordered pad thai to go and, to my surprise, we were told that they'd bring it next door when our order was done. Um, where else they do that at?! Having frequented the neighborhood of Elizabeth quite often, I was shocked to find out that Crown Station used to be in Elizabeth, but closed in March of 2016.
We entered Crown Station and I immediately understood why CLT needed to bring back the spot for round two. I walked into an intimate lounge vibe bathed in dim lighting, a sitting area to the left, a full bar, tall and short tables as well as a stage. We headed to the bar and waited for a drink. One more drink and a full belly and I'd be ready for some good ol' sleep.
Little did we know, we were in for a show, a comedy show. That's right, every Wednesday you can catch an open mic comedy show at Crown Station brought to you by Crown City Comedy. We'd noticed someone was writing names down in the corner while someone else was "mic testing" but when I went to their Instagram to see if anything was going down, I didn't see any posts.
We sat down at a table in the corner near the stage and noticed slips of paper on the table that read: "YOU LOOK LIKE." There was space to fill in blanks but I couldn't quite tell how I'd fill them in. We went on about our business and cracked open our pad thai. A few moments later, two comedy hosts started cracking jokes on one another. I looked at my friend and we both had that face of, "You just can't make this shit up." Talk about synchronicity.
"You look like you got your haircut by a lesbian," the female host says to the male host. I most certainly giggled because I thought the male host was #fam i.e. an actual lesbian. Oddly enough, my issues with anxiety around secondhand embarrassment (the personal embarrassment one feels on account of and for another) didn't cause issues when the participants in the show told jokes that just didn't stick.
I actually reveled in the awkwardness, as I would watching a move with dry humor like, say, Due Date. Even when we found out the duo was actually dating in real life and the guy told his partner, "You look like you don't swallow," and things started getting heated, I knew I'd gotten comfortable with the discomfort that comes along with amateur comedy shows. Yep, I was sold.
My friend tried to convince me to get on stage to tell a few jokes, but that wasn't going to happen. Instead, he wrote down his own "you look like" joke. After all of the comedians took their turn, we had the option of making fun of them and my friend called out one of them who was the proud owner of a rather thick pornstache and next thing you know he was asking how to spell "merkin," which is a pubic wig. When I tell you I hollered!
If you haven't had a chance to check out Crown Station, you better now while it's still a hidden gem in the northside of NoDa. And if you're like me and like a good #awkwardmoment, you must check out the Wednesday comedy show.
If the lights were turned off inside South End's newest craft beer attraction Hoppin', you may mistake this spot for just another commercial space waiting to be filled. As one of my former co-workers and I pulled up to the corner of West Bland and Winnifred streets on a recent Wednesday night, the warm light of the entryway doors and a circular window was the only indicator that there was life inside the small gray building.
I'd heard about a new self-serve craft beer and wine taproom somewhere near Seoul Food Meat Company and invited my friend to join me when I checked it out. I was a bit apprehensive at first, wondering if this place would end up having the same feel as other bottle shops around the Queen City. The answer? Not at all. When we entered the building, there were two people greeting us — one of whom took the time to walk us through the process:
- Show your ID and hand over your debit/credit card.
-Receive a wristband.
-Enter the taproom where you'll find 50 beer taps and 12 wine taps along the wall.
-Find your drink of choice and hold your wrist up to the hop symbol.
-When the green light appears, pour away.
Where's a Staples "easy" button when you need one? According to North Carolina law, you can't serve more than 32 ounces of alcohol at a time. That's why you'll have to return to the front when you've consumed 32 ounces. Don't worry, Hoppin' utilizes iPour technology, so you'll know everything about the beverage you choose and how many ounces you have left before you need to go back to a checkpoint.
I started browsing through the taps with one mission: find a sour beer. Just when I'd given up hope, I found one. I was nervous about looking crazy using the tap for the first time so I ended up with quite a few ounces of a very dark sour. Needless to say, I was able to hang on to that glass for quite some time.
We walked into the open area and walked up the stairs past the three huge flat-screen TVs and became obsessed with the layout and the concept immediately. The industrial elements of the building are offset by bright lighting and modern décor in a two-story taproom, another thing that separates Hoppin' from other, non-alcoholic self-serve venues in the area.
We passed by a set of dartboards and found a small couch to sit on that overlooks the bottom floor of the taproom. That's when I noticed there was another set of taps on the second floor! Convenience if I've ever seen it.
It struck me later that I was probably so taken in by Hoppin' because it's the perfect place for introverts and extroverts alike. I'm an only child, so I appreciate as few social interactions with people outside of my friend group as possible. I know, I know, who would've thought? But it's true; you're faithful Nightlife correspondent isn't always into meeting new people. Finding a bar I could walk into and get right down to business without even interacting with a bartender seemed like the perfect setup to me.
We walked outside to the back patio where patrons will be able to play cornhole and purchase ice cream once the weather warms up, judging by the presence of an unplugged cart sitting nearby. We sat on a bench while safely people watching the folks inside through a glass garage door.
We went in for one more round while glancing at the Hornets struggling to keep up with a Curry-less Golden State team. Hoppin' may not be first choice for major sports fans, but the TV situation works well for the casual fan.
Not to mention, at one point we were sitting next to a small stage so you know what that means ... potential for live music, karaoke and all that jazz.
Considering my friend and I showed up just a few days past their grand opening, Hoppin' is not hurtin' when it comes to being able to fill the space. Blame it on the fact that they were closed on Monday and Tuesday. It remains to be seen whether niche bars like this and Lumberjaxe will remain popular for just a couple months before the novelty wears off and people go back to their respetive neighborhood bars, but I think the concept they've created is one that remote workers, craft beer drinkers, business professionals and networking groups will be able to enjoy.
The short of it? If you're looking for "good beer, wine and good vibes" and you haven't been to Hoppin' yet, you're missing out on a great time. Just do us all a favor and learn to pour a beer from a tap, or you're going to look silly walking around the taproom with a glass full of foam.
But who am I to judge?
A while ago, a friend and I were talking over beers at Common Market when she said she believed the act of heterosexual sex to be inherently patriarchal and invasive by definition. Feminist psychologist Dee Graham would agree. In her influential and controversial 1995 book, Loving to Survive, Graham argued that men's sexuality is by nature violent. Women who fear reprisal in the face of this violence must conform to patriarchal norms of femininity to avoid being hurt or killed. Graham says what women perceive to be love and attraction toward men in fact comes from a kind of societal Stockholm syndrome.
Today, powerful men are losing their jobs left and right as allegations of sexual harassment and assault rain down upon them. Reading the details of these men's behavior is and should be appalling, and the pervasiveness of the problem lends credence to Graham's idea: Women are subjects of men, and we do what we must to survive.
These harassment allegations call into question feminist notions of sex positivity. It's abundantly clear that sex is a recurring source of pain, subjection and degradation for many women and some men. How can we celebrate such a force for harm?
Celebrating sex is exactly what this column aims to do. Sex is a conversation starter and conversations begin to bridge difference. Sex is also changing, and I try to highlight Charlotteans who take an active role in challenging traditional ideas of sex and wonder instead what sex could be in a perfect world.
Arguing with my friend over beer, I tried to conjure sex in its most perfect form: Fun and hot and sweet, like a gooey cookie just out of the oven. A window into someone else's being. An excellent way to pass time. An opportunity to connect, for a few minutes or for a lifetime.
My friend wasn't altogether impressed. That's what sex can be, she pointed out, but that's not what sex is for many people, especially women today. The sexual harassment allegations demonstrate that.
But still. The right response to harmful, inappropriate and patriarchal sex is not abstinence. It's an acknowledgement that sex and power are wielded to harm and abuse, but it's also a leaning into the potential of sex and consent.
"No means no" is a common refrain from assault prevention advocates. Many women aren't offered the choice to begin with, but whether she's asked or not, a woman who says no means it. In 2008, Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti edited a book that aimed to turn this formula on its head: Yes Means Yes! What if instead of having to deny consent, women could leap headlong and enthusiastically into sexual encounters, their desire burning hot? What if our stereotype of women's reluctance was replaced with women's desire running riot? Wouldn't sex be more fun for everyone?
We recently published the results of the Great Queen City Oral Sex Survey (to the dismay of some readers). The results pointed at the disparity between women's pleasure and men's. In many cases, "oral sex" was interpreted to mean fellatio exclusively. But the results also pointed toward what sex, oral or otherwise, can be: an otherworldly slice of heaven right here within our grasp.
When sex and power join forces, the results can be horrific. But despite the recent headlines and long falls from grace, I still believe that sex positivity from men and women alike is key. Enthusiastic consent can only begin, though, when fear and harassment end. When women are no longer held hostage to anyone's desire but their own.
Inspired by our crowdsourcing of oral sex tips and in the spirit of what sex could be, I would like to curate a playlist of songs that represent for Charlotteans their best sex, sex in the best possible world. Your contributions can be conventional or unconventional, romantic or profane or both. Tweet your song suggestions to @allisonbraden or @cl_charlotte. I’ll be compiling the playlist on Spotify.
A couple weeks ago, I received a DM on Twitter (is that what you even call messages on Twitter?). A rare occurrence, I'm shocked that I even took notice of the alert. I opened the message to learn I'd been invited to join a live show and panel discussion put on by the ladies at The Margarita Confessionals. Margaritas? Sign me up!
If you haven't heard about The Margarita Confessionals before, it's a podcast that you can catch on Channel 96.1 on weekdays. The creators, Ali Washburn and Lauren Levine, are best friends who loved to chat about dating, relationships and work over a good marg. That's where the idea for the podcast came from. Almost a full two years later, here they were, "sliding into my DMs." (I think it's safe to say they had no idea what trouble they were getting themselves into.)
Despite the fact that I hate public speaking and struggle with anxiety over miniscule tasks such as deciding on a menu item, I agreed to be a panelist in the hopes that it would be a "good experience for me." Ali responded by saying, "It will be a very casual conversation about dating in CLT — basically everything you write about! Dating apps, meeting people irl [in real life], ghosting, etc. Just an honest picture about what it's like to be single in CLT :)" Then, she followed up with, "We'll take some shots before the show ;)"
Ali has clearly read my column, so she must have known I was going to hold her to the whole pre-show shot idea.
For the others of you who have kept up with my column, you know that the topic of dating, missed opportunities and relationship drama are at the top of my list of topics when it comes to nightlife. And after tackling my first cover story "True Confessions From the Millennial Dating World," I thought I was well-stocked with ammunition for my first panel discussion — "The State of the Date: a yearly address delivered in November by The Margarita Confessionals Podcast to Charlotte, giving the ladies' view of the state of the date," as it was advertised.
However, as the day of the show grew near, that afrorementioned anxiety started to rear its ugly face. Even though I'd invited a few friends to come, I'd secretly hoped they'd forget on the day of. Fortunately, most of them did until it was too late for them to figure out how to get tickets without my input — score! I wrapped up my workday and started to get ready. Everyone was encouraged to dress up like they were going on a first date. I donned my heels, which I hate to wear, and tried to find things to do to bide my time. I opened the fridge and remembered that I'd purchased Smirnoff Ice to "ice" other people with, and decided that I'd need to take a knee and chug one of them if I was going to survive this show.
When I jumped into my Uber, I immediately began to purge my anxiety. I told my driver about the show and how nervous I was. He agreed with my sentiments about public speaking and we laughed about how nerve-wracking the whole experience can be. Our laughter came to a complete halt when we rounded the corner before The Fillmore where a long line had begun to form. He looked back at me as we pulled up and asked if I was going to be okay as we both assumed that the line was for the show. I told him to wait while I found out if that's what the line was really for. Thankfully, it was for a concert at the larger Fillmore venue and not the panel at The Underground – whew!
As soon as I walked in, I went straight to the bar for that shot we'd discussed in our DM when someone stopped me for free drinks backstage. Okay, I'll wait. I went to the back and grabbed a beer. Ali and Lauren welcomed me with nice, warm hugs and I tried my best to act "normal" when the other panelists tried to get to know me. I found myself sharing in each interaction that I was just nervous. To be real, I didn't care what they did and didn't want to talk about what I did either. That's when we were told that we'd be able to hop on an open tab at the bar! I went straight up to the bartender and asked for a shot of fireball and an RBV — I wasn't playing any games.
By the time we were walking onto the stage for the show, I was so lit that all my inhibitions had faded all the way away. From questions like, "How do you feel about unsolicited dick pics?" to "What lines have worked on social dating apps?," I was prepared to pick up the mic at the drop of a dime. I was so comfortable, in fact, when an audience member asked what I felt was a tough question, I grabbed the mic and requested that we have round two of the lemon drop shots we'd had backstage! No one thought I'd do it, but you know I did!