[SATIRE ALERT!]
Why can't the government butt out of people's private business?
Take Johnny Marlowe, for instance. Water cooler and radio talk today are buzzing about Marlowe of Dallas, N.C., in nearby Gaston County. And all because Marlowe circumcised his infant sons with a utility knife. So what? You think it doesn't hurt when a doctor does it? Don't these wusses recognize a truly independent, God-fearin', All-American macho guy when they see one? Moore had a legal wife, plus an extra baby-maker on reserve who, between them, pumped out 11 of Marlowe's kids. On top of that, he denied both women prenatal care. I say, good for him. He's a hero in these times when too many men have given in to the evils of so-called women's rights, and forgotten the Bible's directive that men should rule their homes.
OK, so maybe Moore lorded his power over his women a little too enthusiastically. I'm sure Mike Huckabee and his local fundamentalist fans understand. Moore's example harkens back to the good old days: when a neighbor came over to see what's going on, you shot him. All Moore did was threaten his neighbors — if you ask me, they're lucky they're not laid out on a slab in the morgue. You just don't fool around with a rugged guy who represents all that's good about our patriarchal heritage.
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