Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Why are Carolina Panthers shirts so terrible?

Posted By on Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 4:02 PM

Before you start yelling "bandwagon," let me first state that I’ve been a fan of the Carolina Panthers since moving to North Carolina in the late 1990s. You know, back in the days of Steve Beuerlein and Muhsin “Moose” Muhammad. I can also spell and pronounce the last name of Tim Biakabutuka.

For some reason — probably lack of funds — I’ve never purchased a Carolina Panthers t-shirt. I’ve wanted one, but it just hasn’t happened. A few years ago, I went to my first regular season game and saw one I liked, but for some reason I didn’t pull the trigger.

Fast forward to this year and the excitement that’s been building around the Super Bowl-bound Panthers. I feel like it’s about time that I had some kind of clothing to show my support of the Cardiac Cats, so I started the great 2015-16 t-shirt search. So far, I’ve been completely unsuccessful.

Let me explain…

• I don’t want a shirt that has 2015 NFC Champions on it. In a year or two it’s going to look dated. And who cares if you won the NFC Championship if you can’t win the big game — which is all anyone cares about anyway.

• I don’t want a Super Bowl 50 t-shirt that has the Panthers and Broncos logos on it because a) I’m not a Broncos fan and b) I’m not attending the Super Bowl. Those shirts are going to look even worse if the Panthers lose on Sunday.

• I don’t want a player’s number on the shirt. I’m a huge fan of Cam Newton — because War Damn Eagle! — but in a few years, it could look like a Jake Delhomme jersey. Hey, you never know what the future holds. If a player gets traded or leaves the team, the shirt might just look silly.

• I don’t want a “Property of Carolina Panthers” shirt because it’s not 1986.

• I don’t want to pay $40 for a t-shirt — $40?!? — so let’s cut those out of the running, as well.

• I don’t want a wicking t-shirt because I want to wear it when I'm not working out.

* I'm glad they put "football" on the shirts so no one confuses it with the Panthers water polo team.

So, before you think I’m picky as hell or just plain grumpy, let me explain what I’d like. A Panthers logo on a cotton t-shirt. That’s it. The simple, black and blue Panther logo on a dark gray or black shirt. Hell, they could even throw a "Carolina" above it. Should be simple enough, right? Apparently not. I've looked all over and one is not to be found. 

You would think that it would be the best seller? It’s timeless. It’s classic. It’s the team’s logo. No years, no gimmicks, no player names. Just the team's logo.

The only ones I can seem to find have silver, shimmering eyes and teeth or they have holes punched in them like swiss cheese. I’ve searched high and low — from WalMart and Target to the tents on street corners and the team store at the stadium. Maybe this is what I'm looking for — but it's only available in small? 

So, what's the story? Why are the Carolina Panthers shirts so terrible? 

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