It took my mom over 72 hours of labor to give birth to me. Apparently, I’ve been feisty since the womb. But in turn, I have a birth-week as opposed to a birthday … at least according to my celebration agenda.
Celebration #1 – Wednesday The CL Lust List casting party at Madison’s. Rather than partying like it’s my birthday, I broke out my reporter recorder to conduct interviews with candidates for CL‘s Lust List calendar. To assess the lustiness of their personalities, I sat down with each candidate to play “would you rather” and ask them random questions. Such as … “A recent study shows that a fifth of Americans can’t locate the United States on a map — why do you think that is?” It wasn’t as bad as Miss Teen South Carolina, but one chick responded with, “Because history teachers are stupid.” Meanwhile, I didn’t sip Bacardi like it’s my birthday, but I did sip “Pink Vodka Lust Martinis.” In addition to the lengthy list of lusty candidates, DJ Kopasetic was on the wheels and Brotha Fred stopped in with a FOX camera.
Celebration #2 — Thursday Fight Night for Kids at the Convention Center. An annual charity event where hundreds of men donate a lot of money to watch fights, smoke cigars and get waited on by pretty ladies in gowns. I was at the Jack Daniel’s table with Mike Yates, Lauren Nguyen and the gentlemen sipping on their Gentlemen Jack. NASCAR driver Clint Boyer was on hand, and incidentally probably thinks I’m crazy. He was with my Mr. Big and had to witness our estranged encounter. He gave me a birthday card with a witty note that made me want to hug him and rape his face, which in turn made me want to revert back to the day I was born and cry. Big girls actually do cry, even in a room bursting with testosterone. I hate being a girl. But the fun-loving Jack Daniel’s peeps brought my dimples back to action.
Celebration #3 — Friday A slumber party with my best friends where we played DDR and Rock Band.
Celebration #4 — Saturday During the lust list interviews I asked everyone where their favorite place to go in Charlotte is. And other than the guy who said Paper Skyscraper, everyone responded with Hom. So, I went, and the Hom boys were the hosts with the most. As much fun as I was having, after a week of celebrating I was more tired than my mom after she finally gave birth to me. When I started to fall asleep against a DJ booth bumping techno I knew it was time to leave Hom for home.
Something else to celebrate … The CD release party for Creative Loafing Presents Jeff Hahne’s Homebrew; Winter Harvest 2008, Feb. 18 at The Evening Muse.
This article appears in Feb 6-12, 2008.
